Blake has a crossbow and Emma has a mace with nine-inch spikes and the two of them are in Versace breastplates and poison-tipped Louboutin stilettos, and then they, like, clash together in a riot of tulle and blood and radioactive Swarovski crystals, then they both die at the exact same time in a halo of hot pink fire!
Why do we fantasize this way, you ask? Because both of these people are just way too perfect to live. Observe...
Could The Amazing Spider-Man costar look any more flawless in this white Chanel frock with red velvet embellishments?
Could the Louboutin stilettos (and you thought we made those up) be any more adorable as they tippy-toe, tippy-toe like a modern-day Snow White across the red carpet at the Los Angeles premiere for her new superhero flick?
Could we be any more jealous?