The hair! The pancake face! The shirt—we mean, the dress!
For us here at Fashion Police, Christmas has come in May, thanks to slut-Santa Lindsay Lohan and the getup she wore to the A&E 2012 Upfronts this week.
As for the uneven tanning, well...
We all know that the new star of Lifetime's upcoming Liz Taylor biopic Liz & Dick loves herself a good bake. What we didn't know is that you can now take your hair to the tanning bed too. Is there a new hair-bronzing product line in the works for LiLo? Something that guarantees that your coif will match your legs or your money back?
Finally: The face. Lindsay, honey, go to the drugstore—no, no, stay away from the prescription counter—and find the cosmetics aisle. L'Oreal has, seriously, 33 shades of face makeup alone; one of them has to match your skin. Do not come out of that drugstore until you find that shade. You're welcome.