In showbiz, it's Halloween every damned day.
Lady Gaga routinely leaves her bordello dressed in nothing but curtains and Cool Whip. Beyoncé disguises herself as a Muppet for fun. And if Jack White doesn't show up for a gig looking like an extra in a Tim Burton flick, something is very wrong.
But even in this town it's possible to scare the kids. Behold! The ghoul face worn by Tyra Banks at the annual Moth Ball in New York the other night. We're still trying to floss our brains clean of this image...
Actually, forget we said that—floss won't help us here. The only thing that can save us is bucket of Mr. Clean and a half-dozen scouring pads because, seriously, that layer of black makeup looks to be at least a foot thick.
We do give the America's Next Top Model creator some credit: If anyone can smize through that schmutz, it's a super-stork who once walked 25 shows in a single Paris Fashion Week. And not every aspect of Tyra's face is a fail—the hot pink lips are way on trend.
Tyra, babe, remember that episode of your show where your aspiring models wore petroleum jelly on their faces and nothing else? Those girls looked flawless. Sometimes, less is more. So next time you're tempted to wax dramatic, open a jar of Vaseline, dump it on and go. You can thank us later.