It's not easy being a starlet at the 2012 Met Costume Institute Gala—for weeks beforehand you have to live on kale pills and grapefruit water just to get a designer to deem you skinny enough to dress.
Then you have to deal with a parade of bee-yotch face from your peers as they sail by in their Herreras and Thakoons. (Is it me or does every designer label sound like a Napoleon-era ship run by drunken corsairs?)
But you know what really hurts? Having to wear a dress made out of highway pavement reflectors you stole after an all-night bender with Lindsay Lohan. Enter Chloë Sevigny...
Hey, Chloë, we get it—you're an edgy fashion rebel who's made a name for herself by looking like you don't give a damn. But not caring can mean waking up one morning clad in nothing but duct tape and industrial plastic courtesy of your designer friends at Miu Miu.
Sweetie, you're 37, aren't you old enough to remember the last time duct tape and plastic were supposed to be cool? That was a trick question. They were never cool.