Steve Granitz/WireImage.comLady Gaga is reportedly buying a home on Martha's Vineyard. The pantsless pop-star currently has a home in Bel Air, but would like a quieter place to call home once she ends her Monster Tour.
It's a pretty well-known fact that my family has a place on Martha's Vineyard. I wrote about it in my book, and I've discussed it a few times on my show.
At the moment the place is not in great shape. My father has been in charge of taking care of it for the past several years, and since he can't even maintain his own underwear, the house has suffered under his watch. My plan is to take over the home and/or burn it down and rebuild it.
I am putting those plans on fast forward now that I know Lady Gaga could end up as my neighbor. She seems like she might be fun to have over for game nights, and if I ever run out of steak I could borrow some from her closet.
If nothing else I'll have a place to retreat when I finish my own tour…or when I want to have sex with a black man.