Michael Caulfield/Getty ImagesThe Daily Mirror claims to have gotten its hands on Jennifer Lopez's rider for a recent performance in Monaco. She reportedly needs a helicopter on standby...I'm assuming in case little Marc Anthony sprains an ankle or something. She also demands a "custom-fitted" speedboat. I don't know what needs to be "custom-fitted" on a boat, but my guess it has something to do with a lounge chair and her ass. She also wants a champagne fridge, which I have no problem with. The oddest demand on the list is a pair of $3,000 diamond-encrusted headphones that she needs on the boat to drown out the noise of the motor. I've spent my share of time on boats recently; I find my stress level really goes down after an afternoon of spear fishing. Putting on headphones is a little extreme—putting on a pair of diamond headphones is f--king ridiculous. Even the thing that I hate to listen to the most can be drowned out with a $5 pair of earmuffs from Target...coincidentally, that "thing" happens to be J.Lo's new album.