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Audrina Patridge, Heidi Montag Pratt, Kristin Cavallari

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images; Shirley, Steinberg/PacificCoastNews.com; Denise Truscello/Getty Images

There's a big story in US Weekly about the stars of the MTV show The Hills that have been "destroyed by fame." Obviously, Heidi Montag, better known as "Herpes 2," is one of those "stars." The article also discusses Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari. I like that little Cavallari girl, so I'm going to focus on Herpes 2 and Audrina Patridge. 

It would really help if that girl would change her last name or at least spell it correctly. What kind of last name is "Patridge?" It's "Partridge." I don't think she has to worry about anyone confusing her with a member of the Partridge family, so just spell the stupid thing the way the rest of us do. 

For the most part, the story is about how these girls became famous on that show, and now they are desperate to keep some sort of fame while the show is coming to an end. Obviously they are obsessed with the way they look, and quite frankly I'm obsessed with the way they look, too. 

Audrina is rumored to have had plastic surgery.  I don't know if she has or hasn't, but if she did, she should have gotten her eyes fixed while she was at it. She's always looking up, like she's in the middle of an eye roll. 

Herpes 2 bought an entire new body, and her boobs are now so big she looks like she'd be able to take flight while Chuy dangles from her plastic leg. 

I guess they are worried about their careers now and they should be. They were on a reality show. This isn't some huge sitcom coming to an end while they battle for their own spin off. They might actually get one, but it'll just be another crappy reality show that ends when one of them pops a fake boob or develops syphilis. Instead of a spin off, I'd like to see both of these girls sit on a Sit'n Spin.