9:13 p.m.:  A reporter just asked Krayzie Bone (Rap Performance by a Duo or Group winner, with Chamillionaire, for "Ridin'") what he's wearing around his neck. Jeez, even I know the answer to that one, though to be polite, I let Bone speak for himself: "Bling bling, man."

9:24 p.m.:  John Legend, his black tie undone, stands before us cradling two R&B Grammys and not complaining that he won three awards last time out: "It's good to be back."

9:34 p.m.:  Mary J. Blige has "already won two Grammys tonight," presenter Terrence Howard says on the TV. "Three!" bean-counting reporters shout in the press-conference room.

9:48 p.m.:  A police dog passes through the media center. Apparently, I'm not the only one on the baby-daddy case.

9:49 p.m.:  To be clear, I'm not making fun of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. I'm making fun of Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband. Still.

10:05 p.m.:  British singer Natasha Bedingfield, who didn't win a Grammy, is holding a press conference so that we write about Natasha Bedingfield anyway.

10:06 p.m.:  D'oh! Her clever ploy worked!

10:18 p.m.:  The only thing working harder than the "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World"-belting Christina Aguilera? One of the smoke machines near the big, black backstage curtain.

10:19 p.m.:  Aguilera wraps. The smoke machine keeps going. And going...

10:20 p.m.:  Ladies and gentleman, the smoke machine has left the building.

10:38 p.m.:  "Jesus" singer Carrie Underwood, winner of two Grammys, including Best New Artist, is a big believer: "I think there's no doubt that American Idol is the reason I'm here."

10:39 p.m.:  Without Idol, Underwood testifies, "I would've gone on to a job in the quote-unquote real world."

10:41 p.m.:  Has Underwood been smitten? On her way out, a reporter asks the country star who she's dating: "Dateless and desperate," comes the reply, per somebody back here with better ears than me.

10:50 p.m.:  Say, Christina Aguilera, a Grammy winner for Female Pop Vocal ("Ain't No Other Man"), you're often photographed exiting limos without incident, what's your secret? "Are you setting me up to say, Keep your legs closed?" she asks me. Yup. Pretty much.

10:51 p.m.:  To be clear, Aguilera is not making fun of people who don't keep their legs closed on their way into Hyde. "This is just my personal take on how to exit a limo," Aguilera says. "You've got to do what's right for you."

10:58 p.m.:  Somebody got the memo! Ludacris, like John Legend before him, is standing back here holding two Grammys and modeling an undone black tie.

11:15 p.m.:  Rapper T.I., winner of two Grammys, including one for his Justin Timberlake track, "My Love," has a message: "American Gangster, look for it in your theaters this November."

11:17 p.m.:  Some stars refer to themselves in the third person; T.I., sometimes known as T.I.P., refers to himself in the double third person (the sixth person?). "T.I. and T.I.P.," the performer born Clifford Joseph Harris Jr. says, when asked who he/they brought to the Grammys, "they always roll with family."