9:16 p.m.:  Remember Eddie Murphy the singer? Eddie Murphy does. Asked if Dreamgirls will revive his critically assailed recording career, Murphy is quick to respond: "Oh, no, that's pretty much dead...'Party All the Time 2' will not be happening."

9:21 p.m.:  Emily Blunt won a Globe for BBC America's Gideon's Daughter—or so they say...Blunt is presently Globeless. "Has anyone got one I can borrow?" she asks.

9:22 p.m.:  Blunt says she chose her gown because: (a) "It's timeless," and (b) "my boobs look good in it."

9:24 p.m.:  Blunt gets a Globe. But it's not hers. It belongs to Bill Nighy, her Globe-winning Gideon's Daughter costar.

9:28 p.m.:  Nighy's last name rhymes with "guy." Because of this, he reveals, he has disappointed many small children. "They were all excited to see me," he says, "until they learned I wasn't Bill Nye, the Science Guy."

9:31 p.m.:  Helen Mirren shows off her (first?) Globe, received for starring in Elizabeth I.

9:32 p.m.:  "Oh, some of you are watching [the TV]?" Mirren asks, as reporters' attentions turn to the Globes telecast. "Who's won next?" (Answer: Ugly Betty.)

9:39 p.m.:  Alec Baldwin's back here with his 30 Rock Globe, and I need to know: Has General Electric gifted him with a Trivection oven? "No," he says, "but I'm going to be building a new house next year, and it's going to be completely G.E. from head to toe."

9:42 p.m.:  Baldwin is raving about Ryan Gosling's performance in Half Nelson—and should a certain ex-Mouseketeer score a dark-horse Best Actor Oscar nomination, he owes a certain sitcom star a Trivection oven.

9:49 p.m.:  "Now that I'm a foreign director, I've got to start learning other languages."—A deadpan Clint Eastwood, holding his Best Foreign-Language Film Globe for Letters from Iwo Jima

9:58 p.m.:  Eastwood, like all the Globe winners tonight, is asked by a Globes flack to pose for video cameras. "I don't pose," the Hollywood legend says. "What am I, Paris Hilton?"

9:59 p.m.:  Poor Alexandre Desplat. For one thing, the guy who won the Globe for scoring The Painted Veil isn't getting many questions. For another thing, there's so much noise on the side of the curtain (photographers shouting for America Ferrera?), it's hard to hear the questions that Desplat does get asked.

10:12 p.m.:  "I don't remember what I said," says Ugly Betty winner Ferrera, upon being told that her acceptance speech made Teri Hatcher cry. "It was a very out-of-body experience."

10:15 p.m.:  Ferrera still looks like she's having an out-of-body experience. She not only has to work the room. She has to do it with the eyes of her Ugly Betty castmates, back here to mark their show's TV Comedy Series win, upon her.

10:16 p.m.:  Ferrera is asked something about her personal life—I'm afraid I can't quite hear the question. But I can definitely hear the answer: "I'd rather not talk about my personal life."

10:17 p.m.:  "It's nothing without them," Ferrera cries as her Ugly Betty costars gather around her on stage.

10:18 p.m.:  Gee, I didn't know Diana Ross was in Ugly Betty. Oh, wait...that's Vanessa Williams.

10:22 p.m.:  Ferrera, who is nothing without her Ugly Betty castmates, is no longer on stage with her Ugly Betty castmates.

10:27 p.m.:  How did Cecil B. DeMille award recipient Warren Beatty feel about jokes about his legendary luck with the ladies? "Fine."

10:34 p.m.:  What's the key to success in Hollywood, Mr. Beatty? "Marry Annette Bening. I have no idea. But I'm serious."

10:35 p.m.:  For the record, Beatty was not awarded the Cecil B. DeMille for his gift of press-conference banter.

10:49 p.m.:  Producer Laurence Mark is representing for Best Musical/Comedy winner Dreamgirls—and explaining why the project's quarter-century journey to the big screen was worth the wait. Says Mark: "I don't believe in the last 25 years there was a better cast—this was the cast."

10:54 p.m.:  "[My director] didn't realize I was dying under Ken's anus..." Ah, the press-conference room is alive with the sound of Borat's Sacha Baron Cohen, a Globe winner as Best Comedy/Musical Actor—Motion Picture.

10:55 p.m.:  To back up for a second, Cohen was regaling us with the story of how he almost suffocated during his naked-wrestling scene with Borat costar Ken Davitian.

10:55 p.m.:  Baron Cohen says he can't comment on the Borat lawsuits, which doesn't leave a whole lot else to talk about.

10:56 p.m.:  Baron Cohen invites Davitian to the stage. Davitian says that Baron Cohen "requested that I shower, and shower, and then shower again" prior to the aforementioned naked-wrestling, anus-of-near-death scene.

10:57 p.m.:  For comedy, go see Borat. For a vaguely canned, dismissive response as to why Baron Cohen has ditched his Kazakh alter ego of late—"I woke up one morning, and I was hungover, and I accidentally half-shaved off my mustache, and I realized I had no alternative"—go see this press conference.