These days, Ben Affleck can say, "Argo f--k yourself!" to his critics, but in 2003, this notorious fiasco nearly deep-sixed his career. Affleck and Jennifer Lopez play a hit man and lesbian assassin who guard a mentally handicapped hostage (don't ask) and eventually fall in love. Oh, that Affleck can charm the pants off anyone! This poorly acted, wretchedly scripted crime-world romance is like a bullet to the brain, though that at least would be quicker.