"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" wails Kelly Clarkson. So after nearly drowning in the banality of this beach blanket bomb, we should be friggin' Superman. The American Idol first-season winner survived this embarrassment; her costar and runner-up Justin Guarini did not. They play spring breakers who meet in Miami, fall in love and sing and dance about it, badly. Where are land sharks when you need them?