The Oscars host took a jab at the lack of diversity amongst 2015's acting nominees, saying, "Today we honor Hollywood's best and whitest...Sorry, brightest."
"And if I may, call your mom. Everybody...Call your mom, call your dad," said the Whiplash star in his best supporting actor acceptance speech. "If you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call them. Don't text, don't e-mail. Call them on the phone. Tell them you love them and thank them and will be to them for as long as they want to talk to you."
"I tried to commit suicide at 16 and now I'm standing here," said the screenwriter of The Imitation Game in his acceptance speech. "I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she doesn't fit in anywhere. You do. Stay weird. Stay different, and then when it's your turn and you are standing on this stage please pass the same message along."
"American Sniper focuses on a soldier with 160 kills, or as Harvey Weinstein calls it, a slow morning," joked the host.
"Selma is now because the struggle for justice is right now," said the singer, accepting "Glory"'s Oscar for Best Song alongside Common. "We live in the most incarcerated country in the world. There are more black men under correctional control today than there were in slavery in 1850. When people are marching with our song, we want to tell you we are with you, we see you, we love you, and march on. God bless you."
"To every woman who gave birth to every tax payer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else's equal rights," said the Boyhood star, accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. "It's time to have wage equality once and for all, and equal rights for women in the United States of America!"
Before announcing Best Actress, the Dallas Buyers Club star introudced, "Four wonderful actresses and, as is required by California state law...Meryl Streep."
"I've heard it said that winning an Oscar means you live five years longer," said the Still Alice star, accepting the Oscar for Best Actress. "If that's true I want to thank the academy because my husband is younger than me."
"Benedict Cumberbatch is not only the best name in show business, it's also the response you get when you ask John Travolta to pronounce Ben Affleck," joked the Gone Girl star, alluding to Travolta's infamous mispronunciation of Idina Menzel's name at the 2014 Oscars.
When presenting Birdman as best film, Penn quipped of Mexican director Alejandro González Iñárritu, "Who gave this son of a bitch a green card?"
"Tonight, I am wearing the real Michael Keaton tighty-whities," said the Birdman director. "They are tight, smell like balls, but it worked. I'm here. Thank you, Michael."
"Look, it's great to be here. Who am I kidding?" asked the Birdman star (the film won Best Picture, although he lost Best Actor to The Theory of Everything's Eddie Redmayne).
"Dear Lady Gaga, thank you for that wonderful tribute," said the Sound of Music legend.
NEXT GALLERY: Check out all the best moments from the 2015 Oscars!