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What's Really Important Here

Paula Abdul's losing track of what's really important here. Never mind the rumors that Courtney Love's going to replace her on Idol. (Or the fact that everyone picked up on the rumors and actually believed she was that replaceable...by Courtney?!) Never mind the whispers that she's a drug-addled alcoholic. (Or that such whispers persist despite your repeated denials.) No, she really needs to get herself checked out, 'cause twitching and giggling uncontrollably could be the sign of something serious, like, um, a nitrous oxide leak. Oh, and one more thing, Paula—we suggest you stop eating those wacky brownies the show's PA keeps bringing in.  

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