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What's next for Jennifer Hudson?
—Rye, Bulacan, Philippines
The B!tch Replies: I'll take a risk and say not much. Unless you count shilling perfume for Avon as a thrill—in which case, you really should check out the latest issue of Ladies' Home Journal, because they have a quilting pattern that is just precious.
Now, be a lamb and listen to mama.
Since she donned her metallic bolero and swept in from the Romulan homeworld to claim her Best Supporting Actress Oscar, Hudson has announced not a single new film or TV project. Avon has hired her to market its classic Imari perfume and to launch a new scent called Imari Seduction. She also reportedly has an album in the works. But on the all-important acting front, those batwing arms and that lovin' bosom remain empty and idle.
Oh, wait: Hudson has also performed at a church in her hometown.
Are you surprised that she hasn't lined up five years' worth of new projects? You shouldn't be. According to Variety, Hudson is the 15th performer to win an Oscar for a debut performance, and many of the others on that list have vanished into relative obscurity.
The last example was Anna Paquin. Unless you live, bleed and sweat all things X-Men, you probably haven't heard of her since she was 11 and won for The Piano in 1993. Mira Sorvino wasn't technically a novice when she won her Best Supporting statuette for Mighty Aphrodite in 1995, but these days she doesn't seem to be technically an actress, either.
Other actresses who have won on a debut include Tatum O'Neal, Jo Van Fleet and some other lady I can't remember. And that's exactly my point. For most actors, in the long run, Oscars mean nothing.
Of course, there's another reason Hudson is likely to struggle to stay on the IMDb.
Other people won't say it, but I will: Her weight.
Hollywood gives plenty of loving lip service to fatties, as long as they're dazed and dewy newcomers who spew a constant stream of grovelingly thankful quotes to Barbara Walters.
But once a year or two passes, and that glow is revealed as just another case of forehead shine, Hollywood takes a second look at its chubby protégés and decides they aren't curvy. They're just fat. And most—Latifah notwithstanding—are quickly relegated to television or to playing the sighing best friend or nosy neighbor for the rest of their careers.
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