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What Would Britney Do?
And thus it was that, for her next trick, Britney Spears got all theological.
In Hollywood, Spears, 24, will play a conservative Christian talk-show host on an upcoming Will & Grace, NBC said. The episode is scheduled to air Apr. 13.
Meanwhile, in England, Spears' name has been invoked by a church posing the musical question, "What would Jesus say to...?"
The Stechford Baptist Church in Birmingham series recently kicked off with Jesus' presumed address to Live Aid's Bob Geldof, organizer Martin Turner said. Other notables to get a talking to, in a theoretical sense, in the coming weeks include Princes William and Harry, Bart Simpson, sci-fi icon Dr. Who and theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking.
The Spears program, featuring a "little play" in which Jesus talks to the singer through the radio, drew about 30 people last Sunday, Turner said. The event was less a comment on Spears, he said, and more a comment on those who believe the path to happiness is to become as famous as the singer.
"There's nothing wrong with fame--Jesus certainly is the most famous Christian--but that's not where happiness lies," Turner said.
Turner said the lyrics of Spears' own songs, including "My loneliness is killing me..." from "...Baby One More Time," indicate that fame is not a cure-all.
So, what did Jesus ultimately say to Spears?
"What we concluded was that Jesus would say there's more to life than fame, that it's fleeting," Turner said.
Ray Jellicoe, an accountant who led the Spears discussion, told the Birmingham Evening Mail, which first reported on the church series last week, that the event was "not pointing the finger at Britney Spears and saying, 'Look how bad she is.'"
In fact, Turner said, he thinks Jesus "would have loved Britney's music."
"I'm not sure he would have loved all over her videos," Turner said, "but I don't think Jesus was ever freaked out by overt sex."
Back in Hollywood, the powers-that-be at Will & Grace seem freaked out, in a good way, by their latest stunt casting coup. According to NBC's exhaustive press release touting the sitcom stint, Spears is an "ever-growing and ever-exciting artist at her absolute best."
"Or as she would say, 'For now.' "
The release notes everything from Spears' off-Broadway run 15 years ago to her 2003 album, In the Zone. Keeping it strictly professional, it does not note everything from Spears' 55-hour marriage to childhood friend Jason Allen Alexander or her current marriage to dancer and wannabe rapper Kevin Federline.
The Will & Grace appearance will mark Spears' first prime-time work since her and Federline's UPN reality series, Chaotic, a camcorder account of their courtship. According to IMDb.com, Spears last acted as someone other than herself or her species in the 2002 Christmas cartoon, Legend of the Lost Tribe, in which she gave voice to a flying reindeer.
Also per the credit-compiling Website, Spears is lined up to begin work on a new movie--her first since 2002's Crossroads--about door-to-door cosmetic sales. It's called In the Pink.
No word on what Jesus would say about that.
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