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TriStar Pictures
Premonition
If you've seen the coverage of Sandra Bullock working the red carpet to sell this critically panned spiritual thriller, then you know that it's one of those films with a moral purpose. Yes, Sandy furrows that brow and explains that Premonition is meant to make us appreciate what we have in these materialistic times. A noble goal, indeed, but a movie still has to tell a story. Ladies, if you have a deal with your boyfriend where you get to pick one weekend and he gets to pick another, don't waste it on this, much as we all love Sandy. Instead, pick...
Archangel Productions
Tortilla Heaven
Wait. A comedy that's actually funny? Yes, I promise. José Zúñiga, Lupe Ontiveros, Olivia Hussey and George Lopez are just a few of the players in this comedy about a village that goes into upheaval when Jesus Christ appears on a tortilla.
Director Judy Hecht Dumontet went through hell for Heaven. They shot the movie on location in New Mexico. Then the film was destroyed in a freak accident with chemicals. Ay dios mio, I know. So it took two years to get the money back and reshoot. Pain in the butt, but Judy sees the bright side. "Nobody's asked me that yet," she said, when I wondered whether or not she did any massive rewrites. "I did rewrite a lot of it. And there are scenes that are much better for that." Amen. Please go see this, even if you have to drive like an hour.
Fox Searchlight
I Think I Love My Wife
I think I love Chris Rock. No, that's a lie. I know I love him. I have watched his HBO specials no less than 50 times, and I'm not exaggerating. I can talk along to them, seriously. So, you'd think I'd be so thrilled for this comedy, which has Chris tempted by another woman (Kerry Washington) even though he's already hitched (Gina Torres).
Michael Gibson/Universal Studios
Dead Silence
New Kid on the Block alert! Donnie Wahlberg—who did the New Kids dance better than anyone, even Jordan Knight—stars in this horror flick that revolves around a murder. I love the tagline: "You scream. You die."
Hey, horror movies are like Lifetime movies—sometimes you get that craving and nothing else will do. But Donnie. If you're reading this, remember that conversation we had at the World Poker Tour Invitational? Call me, dude. I am chomping at the bit for your news.
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