Adam Rose/FOXIt has easily been years weeks since our last new episode of Glee, so tonight's new episode could've been about leprechauns and we still would have appreciated the fresh material.
Oh, wait. It was about leprechauns. Well, it was about Damian McGinty's debut as Rory, the new transfer student from Ireland. We also got Quinn losing her mind, Brittany and Santana finally making it official, and Sue finding a formidable blue-collar foe.
Let's celebrate the return of Glee together, and maybe we'll give you some scoop on what lies ahead. OK, we totally will…
WHAT WE LEARNED
Brittana Lives: Well, we told you it was coming, but it still feels so good to see it actually unfold before our eyes! OK, it wasn't exactly a public proclamation of love with fireworks and matching hers-and-hers T-shirts. But Santana (Naya Rivera) and Brittany's (Heather Morris) casual chat about being together at Breadstix (where else?) was all we needed for right now. We learned that Santana is happy, and after seeing her scorching lecture to Rory in the hallway about messing with Brit, we know she's fiercely protective of her relationship, which we happen to think is just as sweet as any love song they could sing to each other. By the end of the episode, both Santana and Brit left New Directions to join Shelby's group, and while we think those ladies deserve more time to shine, it's a little heartbreaking to see the ole group split up.
We Do Not Know What's Going on With Quinn: We've learned that Quinn (Dianna Agron) isn't the most stable of the bunch, but this "steal Beth" storyline is going far and beyond just a high school girl with emotional issues. When she calls child services, Puck (Mark Salling) is legitimately horrified, and he likes to sleep with older, married ladies in his spare time, so that's saying something. And no surprise here, Quinn is such a psycho hosebeast that she pushes the father of her child right into the arms of her daughter's adopted mom. Still with us? Good. Because we're not so sure we're with this plotline anymore. At least it brings us a sweeter and reformed Puck. The episode ends with Shelby (Idina Menzel) and Puck locking lips, which we're positive will lead to a happily ever after. Yeah, right.
Rory's Accent Can Melt Minds: But in a really, really good way. McGinty was fabulous in his debut episode, and his appearance at McKinley brought so much drama! Finn called Brittany stupid! Santana accused Finn of being jealous of Blaine! Lord Tubbington is still fat! Anyway, Finn showed much leadership by changing his mind about Rory and rescuing him from certain bully beatdown. He then brought him into the choir room, where Rory crooned his way into a spot on the New Directions team.
Burt Should Be President: He is already president of our hearts, after all. Burt versus Sue (Jane Lynch) will surely bring many more insult-filled rants from both opponents, plus we get to see Mike O'Malley more, which is always a plus. But his choice to run against Sue brought up a valid question that we didn't even think about: What will happen to the family if Burt wins and has to move to Washington? At dinner, the Hummels mentioned Finn (Cory Monteith) taking over Burt's shop, which is an option we had yet to consider for Rachel's other half. Interesting segue into the football recruitment storyline that's coming up, no?
Rewind Moment: Sue's slow and menacing turn to glare at Will during Burt's on-air Congress speech.
ONE-LINERS
"Go back to Mexico!"—Random bully to Rory
"You can't put a price on cheer, William."—Sue
"She's kind of like Rain Man with boobs."— Finn
"Every time he opens his dreamboat acapella mouth, you're just itching to kick him right in the warblers."—Santana
"I am literally horny with fear."— Sue
"What? That Sour Patch Kids are just Gummi Bears that turned to drugs?"— Brittany
"Your glee club saved my kids life. Turns out, art can do that."— Burt
WHAT LIES AHEAD
Cue This Song: We have literally told you everything we can without spoiling everything for next week's episode "The First Time." So we just want to take this time to say…buckle up and prepare for an episode that will surely make many couple fandoms implode, explode and simply just plode. (Is plode a real thing? After next week's episode, it will be.) By the by, now that Santana and Brittany are officially a couple, we look forward to some "sweet lady kisses" between the two, which would not be a new experience for Miss Heather Morris. She recently told Seventeen Magazine that she used to make out with girls before "mostly for guys' attention when I was in high school." Although she did indulge just once for curiosity's sake: "One time I did it when I was curious with a friend, but she wasn't my best friend."
The Doc Is In: We speculated in a previous Spoiler Chat that the doctor they were casting was for a good reason, like say, Emma gets knocked up by Will. But we hear that the reason the doctor is around is for a very unfortunate and awful situation. But relax! There aren't any funerals to prepare for, Gleeks. So don't start hyperventilating.
Who Wants a Juicy Finn Storyline? You got it. We told you guys a few weeks back that Finn will be heavily involved with Santana coming to terms with her sexuality. Well, we just got wind of someone else who will "benefit" from our favorite Lima Heights-Adjacent gal coming out of the closet: Sue Sylvester. And it will all circle back to Finn in what we anticipate will be one of the best moments acting-wise for Naya and Cory.
Wanna Be a Glee Star? Of course you do! The second season of The Glee Project is holding auditions right now. Go to their official website and put yourself out there! Did you see how awesome Damian McGinty was in tonight's episode? That could be you next season!
The Groff Is Coming Back and Nothing Hurts: We have nothing more to say on this, but it just deserves to be repeated.
Well, it was a long and cold hiatus, but we made it together. What did you guys think of tonight's episode? And how many of you are quivering in antici...pation for next week's big V-card cashing extrava-palooza? Hit the comments, Gleeks!