The View To a Kill: Watch Miley or Die!

Are The View's ratings sagging? Apparently the show is now resorting to death threats to draw an audience, and Miley Cyrus is involved, wouldn't you know.

Speaking of sagging, ancient Larry King hosted Stephen "Bible Thumping" Baldwin, the perfect authority on oral sinning, to help point a righteous finger at Joe "F-Bomb" Biden. The shocking conclusion? The V.P. is a potty mouth.

Plus, notorious hard-news source Fox and Friends features anchor (sorry, "friend") Gretchen Carlson blowing the lid off of Dancing With the Stars. Stop the presses—DWTS is frivolous! And Chad Ochocinco's name is impossible to pronounce!

Not for Joel Mchale, who'll prove his stellar linguistic skills yet again on a new Soup tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

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But don't wait until then—there's plenty of Soup right now in our video gallery!