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Townshend's Suicidal Tendencies
Pete Townshend says he was deadly serious about the child-pornography charges leveled against him in January.
In fact, he now says he even contemplated suicide during the heaviest media and legal onslaught following the disclosure of his name on an FBI list of Internet kiddie porn suspects.
"If I had had a gun, I would have shot myself," he told London's Observer newspaper Sunday. "And if I had shot myself, it would have been f---king awful because it would have confirmed what everybody thought."
The 58-year-old Who guitarist was arrested in January following a high-profile sting operation designed to capture online pedophiles. He was cleared of all charges in May but received a strong reprimand from British authorities for allegedly looking at Web photos of abused children. He was also forced to give a DNA sample and was put on Britain's sex offenders registry for five years.
From the beginning, the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer copped to looking at the Website. But he claimed the visit wasn't for salacious reasons; instead, the rocker claimed he had been an abused child himself and was doing research for his own autobiography. He confessed to using a credit card to access an illegal site but swears he never downloaded any photographs.
Nevertheless, he says he can't apologize enough for the aftermath the investigation caused for his loved ones.
"I know that I caused the most incredible chaos by that one single neglectful careless act--for my ex-wife, for my son, who's only 13, for his school friends, for my girlfriend, all of whom had to make a snap decision to wing behind me," he told the Observer. "And they all did."
Townshend also told the Observer that he has been saddened by the responses of some of his fans and charity organizations he works with. Two nonprofit child welfare groups sent back his donations, and he met one U.S. fan who broke down in tears of disappointment because of her longstanding love for the Who.
Still, Townshend says he is not and never has been a child molester. "I'm not sexually attracted to children," he stated.
Townshend is hoping to put the incident behind him and move forward with his music career. The Who has signed on to join David Bowie and Stereophonics as a headliner for the Isle of Wight Festival in June, and Townshend had previously said he was writing new tunes for his band to record.
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