Tina Takes "Survivor 2"

As tonight's finale of Survivor: The Australian Outback proves, sometimes a snake comes in the form of a petite, blond nurse with a mothering smile, a few strategically tossed off "Hons" and a wicked Doritos jones.

That's right, 40-year-old Knoxville nurse Tina Wesson "outwitted, outplayed and outlasted" her fellow 15 adventurers to not only become the second Survivor million-dollar winner but the first female to win the CBS reality-show competition.

"I didn't do anything I consider unethical," said Wesson, who revealed during the post-finale town meeting that up until two weeks before filming started, she was just an alternate for the competition. "It was all just strategy."

The night started out with three finalists: Wesson; 27-year-old Texas custom auto designer Colby Donaldson, who many considered the favorite to win; and 40-year-old Michigan chef Keith Famie, who was one of the more physically affected contestants, dropping nearly 30 pounds on the measly rice rations the adventurers were eating.

A rundown of the finale action: It started off with arts and crafts--no, really--as the three finalists were given paints, beads, feathers and all the other supplies you'd normally find glued to egg cartons in a third-grade art class and asked to create wooden idols that would be tossed into the water to serve as "giving something back to the land." Whatever.

Cue the cheesy music, the overhead shots of sunsets and sunrises, the montage of fallen competitors (hey, is it a coincidence that all these people have toothpaste-commercial smiles?) and, natch, the obligatory kangaroo hopping, before we finally made our way to the all-important final Immunity Challenge.

The name of the game was trivia, as the finalists were asked various questions about those voted out before them. And the winner? For the fifth straight week, Colby won the Immunity Necklace, a Tribal Council vote was quickly taken and chef Keith, aka "Carrots" to his fiancée, bid the game g'day.

Sigh...more shots of sunsets, sunrises, kangaroos and lots of player introspection. Blah blah blah.

And that marked a surprising move by most-likely-to-get-post-Survivor-endorsements pretty-boy Donaldson, who probably could have secured himself an additional $900,000 if he had voted out Wesson instead of the less-popular Famie.

"When Tina and I started becoming close, we made a pact to play our game to the end," Donaldson said. "And that did make it much more competitive, but I'll tell you, I haven't lost one iota of sleep over it, because [Tina] deserved to win."

By final Tribal Council time, however, Donaldson may have been questioning that decision, as the jury--made up of the last seven contestants voted out of the game--pummeled Donaldson and Wesson with questions about unethical behavior, actions they may have felt guilty about, who did or did not deserve to win the big money...clearly, there are some sour grapes among that bunch.

Then it was time to have the jury vote, after which host Jeff Probst took the vote container and hopped into a helicopter, telling the crew the votes would be counted live "when we return to the United States; I'll see you there."

One hokey helicopter landing on the CBS building later, Probst entered a mock Tribal Council set carrying the votes, several minutes of filler chitchat ensued, the haggard looking finalists were all shaved and makeupped to the hilt and the votes were finally opened.

And though both finalists 'fessed up to some "strategic" actions they said could have been construed as unethical during that last meeting, the jury put more stock in Wesson, who became the Australian Outback Survivor by a vote of 4-3.

All in all, CBS certainly has reason to be pleased with its Survivor sequel, which not only garnered big ratings but had other networks--remember the "supersize" Friends episodes?--sweatin' the Outback crew.

And despite a level of suspense and novelty that didn't quite match that of the Pulau Tiga tribes, the Australian Outback folk certainly had their moments.

Ah, the memories...the pig-snuffing Michael..."Mad Dog" Maralyn removing her teeth before sucking down that worm...Kel and the alleged beef jerky that did him in...Kimmi and her, um, self-serving, ahem, bedtime activities...that time Elisabeth cried...that other time Elisabeth cried...and then there was the time Elisabeth whined...yep, those were special times.

Now, of course, the real fun begins, with preparations for a third Survivor--to be set in Africa--under way and months of seeing all the Survivors on every newsstand, network and Internet site that can figure out some new and crafty way to use the Outbackers to sell a product.

Not that we'd ever do that, of course. But if you search our entire site you might find a naked picture of Colby...

We're kidding!

(originally posted 7:15 p.m. PT)