One Daringly Domesticated Blind Vice

Gay star Judas Jack-Off returns and he’s more heterosexualized than ever!

Poor Judas Jack-Off. He now has it as bad as permanently closeted movie star Toothy Tile. Only, I fear Judas is not even pretending to be happy, quite unlike Toothy.

Remember, our very handsome and very unkind Judas is still trying to get the ditched BF to have sex, all the while out prancing to the gullible world with his gorgeous girlfriend—whenever there's an available photo op, that is.

But whereas Toothy actually likes hanging with the beard at home and out with the kids, Judas doesn't, at least not as much.

Maybe that's the reason Judas has suggested to the GF, whom he glumly now lives with, that they should both take up...

...flying. As in, in a plane. As in 37,000 feet in the air. These two beauties are supposed to take their lives in their own hands, all 2012-like, and fly over Los Angeles like it's a damn movie set, or something?

Now, either this is a true effort on Judas' part to make their prearranged living arrangement genuinely more exciting (i.e., bearable), or Mr. J.J. is planning on using one of those parachutes that go up with these schooling planes and jumping off with his after the dimpled girlfriend's chute suddenly disappears, or better, yet, malfunctions?

It's all just too weird, too much. The sudden interest in having a hobby together (and a life-threatening one, at that), after getting shacked up in a living sitch Judas has never wanted to be in the first place. What's up, Judey?

But then, some guys are just p--sies when their managers and their agents tell them to stay put and figure out how to make it look real. Know what I mean, Toothy?

Don't go up in that plane with Judas whatever you do, girlfriend!

And It Ain't: Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong, Matthew McConaughey