Morning Piss: Reese, the New Angie!
ABC/ADAM LARKEY
As is if we needed another conniving, manipulative, rather good-looking gal operator in town, but mercy above, do we ever have one! Freshly graduated from the Angelina Jolie School of Shark-Swimming Without Scratches is...ta-da, Reese Witherspoon!
Watch her rewrite marital history! Watch her bed the most unbeddable bachelors in town! Oh, and if these magazine confessionals where Ms. W says the fact that she's "too trusting" is her greatest flaw isn't enough, now we've got all of America buying this nonsense, as Four Christmases' massive success is proof.
But look, this is a double-edged Pisser for me, really, as I happen to adore Ms. W, and not just because she likes to call me "Mr. Casablanca." So does Bill O'Reilly. Those good manners often reveal steely and dangerous aplomb deep down below, surely as it does with no one better than the Tennessee-raised barracuda herself.
R.W. beams while her myriad representatives take care of the dirty work in town, trust me on this score. I'm almost starting to admire Angelina, by comparison. At least she scowls on the outside when she's feeling it on the inside, something ladylike Witherspoon would do about as fast as she'd invite Abbie Cornish for tea.
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