Morning Bitch-Back! Does Rihanna Have a Taste for Ladies?

Readers wonder if the pop star is our notorious Cookie Muncher

By Ted Casablanca Sep 08, 2011 11:51 AMTags
RihannaSplash News

Dear Ted:
My guess for Cookie Muncher is Rihanna, and my guess for her mancakes is Drake. Am I right? P.S. Last year I took in a stray pregnant kitten that gave birth to her litter on my bed. I am happy to report that I adopted the mother and one of her kittens, my mother adopted two and my brother adopted a kitten also. The whole family have happy homes. I love your Blinds, but your advocacy and compassion for animals keeps me a devoted reader. It's nice to know that I get my gossip from such a kind and compassionate man.
—Brenda

Dear Cat Got Your Tongue:
As much as I wish I could say you're right, I'm really not such a nice guy, and Cookie is not as musically inclined as the pop star. Plus, I think Ri-Ri would totally own up to any lady-lovin' tendencies she might have. She's just that kinda chick. Kisses to all your kittens though, you sound like a great mama!

Dear Ted:
Thinking about Cookie Muncher, and I've got to say, I keep wondering if this is Anna Paquin, and her hubby, Stephen Moyer. She hasn't been afraid to admit that she is bisexual, and you said that they are comfortable with each other's Vices. Am I right or at least on the right track?
—Kimbo

Dear Vicey Vampers:
Wrong-o, Kimbo. Cookie is way secret about her sometimes hump-happy ways with the same sex. Slightly less so her man. I only wish Stephen had the same tendencies, then he could nibble on Alexander Skarsgård's neck behind the scenes.

Dear Ted:
I was wondering if you have commented on the fact that Zathura starred Kristen Stewart and Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson. I saw the movie last night and was surprised they were both there. We could almost play six degrees of Twilight, including Kristen working with HSM's Corbin Bleu and Robert Pattinson working in Harry Potter. Maybe you know others, but those hit the big movies teens and others seem to watch. Looking forward to Breaking Dawn!
—Kathy

Dear Stewing the Pot:
What's to comment on babe? It's a small town; it's no surprise that K.Stew's franchise will rub elbows with her former costars. But that's all that was rubbing, if you catch my drift.

Dear Ted:
Just wanted to let you know some Jersey Shore gossip. It's not that exciting, but the lady that waxes my brows waxed Pauly D's last week! She didn't know who he was but said he couldn't have been nicer. And guess what? The spa where she works doesn't allow you to add a tip to a credit card, so he had his agent come back later and give her a 100 percent tip in cash! Such a sweetie...I knew he was always my fave.
—XOXO

Dear Shore Manners:
How très classy. And while most (if not all) of his costars have totally gone Hollywood—I'm lookin' at you, Snooki—I agree that Pauly D is the most down-to-earth of all his costars. Good to know he's a straight guy not afraid to get his brows shaped, too.

Dear Ted:
There's nothing better on cool mornings than warm coffee and scrolling through Blind Vices. My second cup of vanilla biscotti got me thinking, does Kris Jenner have a Blind Vice?
—KJ

Dear Momager:
Nope. But she's popped out a few Vice stars.

Dear Ted:
After watching X-Men: First Class, I have to ask: What are the chances Kevin Bacon is January Jones' baby daddy? Of all the people I've heard mentioned as possibilities, I haven't heard his name in the mix, but if you ask me, there was some serious onscreen chemistry between the two. What are your thoughts, and how do these two rank in the Blind Vice category?
—S

Dear Parental Control:
Sorry, S, but all the chemistry you saw onscreen was just that. J.J. was hitting the sheets with someone else when the camera stopped rolling.