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Lohan Clan Needs to Shut the Ef Up

Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Jemal Countess/Getty Images; Jeff Frank/ZumaPress.com

Michael Lohan should probably be grieving silently since the recent death of his dad, ya know, like a normal person would. But M.L. ain't your run-of-the-mill kinda pops—he's the estranged dad of a celebrity, and that makes all the difference.

Damned if Mikey's tears didn't dry as soon as a camera shined its little light on him, letting him gab and gab about his newfound connection with Dina and his kids, name-dropping a particular rebellious redhead of the fam every chance he could. Neither of the two Lohan offspring with publicists (that would be Linds and Ali, 'course) even attended the funeral nor the wake—how's that for a rebloomed bond between father and daughters? Maybe next time instead of a wake, try appearing on Family Feud or Family Double Dare—do some team-building exercises together, and see if that sticks.

We're starting to feel just as grossed out that we're giving the guy yet another platform to showcase himself. At least LiLo's constant bloggings are coming straight from the Firecrotch's mouth. (Our imaginations are running wild on that one.) Do these people think if they stop communicating with the world, they'll cease to exist? Or is all this Lohan chatter more enjoyable than the last five movies Linds has been in?

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—Additional English-screwin' reporting by Becky Bain

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