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Hos and Lows

Hayden Panettiere, Aubrey O' Day Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

The Declare Yourself bash at Hell-Ay's Green Door last night was 'sposed to be about encouraging young things to get out and show up at the polls in November, dammit. But it seemed hard enough to get one par-tick young person to get out and show up at all. Do hope this isn't a sign for Nasty-vember.

Hostess Hayden Panettiere rolled up to the event more than two hours late, skipping most of the press. She looked pretty good decked in all black, but the most inspirational words she shrilled out were, "I'm a Democrat." For that amount of effort, they coulda hired a blue-state Barbie to do the same amount of promotional work.

The real star of the show? Aubrey O'Day...for all the wrong reasons. The Danity Kane doll, barely wearing a bright red dress with a neckline cut so low it almost reached her navel, strutted down the carpet with a date equal in class: her dog. Aub's white-haired pooch was dyed pink and blue, tho the pink was supposed to have come out red so her pet would resemble the flag. Anybody motivated to vote because of a patriotically painted pup? Anyone?

Aub-babe assured us the dye was animal-friendly for his fur, if not his reputation. The poor pooch looked sedated, except when it would summon enough energy to paw at A.O.D.'s dress, exposing her nipple, how very Mischa Barton. Her own fault, too, for wearing the most boob-displaying frock imaginable.

Day, like Hay, declared herself a Dem, so does that mean she's all for gay marriage? "Of course, I love gays." Charmingly worded. Trust, Aub, we're grateful for all the support we can get, however skanky it is.

—Additional sass by Taryn Ryder and Becky Bain

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