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Blind Vice Archive: Crotch Uh-Lastic

Fri., Oct. 8, 2010 6:50 AM PDT by Ted Casablanca

You asked for it, you're getting it! The Awful Truth is putting together a series of archive pages packed with every bit of dirt on our biggest, filthiest Blind Vice all-stars.

Last week we kicked it off with Toothy Tile, and now welcome another fan favorite: Crotch Uh-Lastic.

Here is his horny and cracked out tale:

________

The Perp: Crotch Uh-Lastic

Primary Vice: Closeted actor

Blind Bio: Well respected thespian recruits the studs to play out fictional sexual scenarios before their big bang—and he can't get it up unless said situation is pursued! Crotch usually sends assistants to pick out his man-meat for him, and his handlers are getting concerned because his sexual dalliances around H-Wood are becoming less and less of a secret.

Starred In:

One Draw-Strung-Out Blind Vice
Blind Vice Friday! Closeted Stars are Dummies!
Crotch Returns in Slinky, Undercover Blind Vice!
Blind Vice: How Far Can Crotch Push It?
Blind Vice: Crotch Uh-Lastic Losing Sleep as Well as His Mind?

And It Ain't:

Adam Brody, Alexander Skarsgård, Christian Bale, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Dwayne Johnson, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Mayer, Justin Timberlake, Josh Hartnett, Kevin Spacey, Leonardo DiCaprio, Matthew Broderick, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Downey Jr., Ryan Gosling, Ryan Phillippe, Tobey Maguire, Tom Hanks, Topher Grace, Tom Cruise, Zac Efron