Bitch-Back! Is Britney Still Behaving Badly?

James Breeden/ Bret Thompsett, PacificCoastNews.com

Dear Ted:
I've read that Britney Spears was on meth and that's what helped to fuel her "crazy" phase. Is that really true? It's hard to believe that she would do something so stupid when she had two little boys. Does she still have a drug problem, if it really was drugs that she was on back then?
—Curious

Dear Toxic:
Brit wasn't in her right mind back then—no idea on the meth, but whatever she was doin', it was all pretty dangerous when you're responsible for caring for two defenseless kids.

Dear Ted:
Now that Michael Lohan has been "publicly outing" Lindsay Lohan for prescription drugs, etc., can you finally out her as Morgan Mayhem, please?! This is just ridiculous!
—anj779

Dear Obvious:
What fun would that be?

Dear Ted:
I'm a big fan of you and Robsten. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart look like they are crazy in love with each other. My question is, who is more in love for the other? Is Rob for Kristen or Kristen for Rob? Because looks like it is Rob who is more in love. Kristen looks more distant.
—Isis

Dear Love Rating:
They're both totally committed to each other—why so adamant about declaring a winner between them?

Dear Ted:
Everyone seems to assume that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is a tomboy and picks out her clothes. Is it possible that Angelina still thinks of her as a blob (her word, not mine!) and dresses her that way? Oversized hand-me-down boy's pants, clunky boots, dark clothes, man's tie around her neck, the hats… please, she's a 3-year-old girl. It's too contrived to be anything but A.J.'s choice for some lame reason.
—Don'tMessHerUp

Dear The Blog:
Why is being a tomboy a bad thing? 'Cause she's not dressed head to toe in frilly lace à la Suri Cruise or Violet Affleck? Is a 3-year-old in drag really that uncomfortable for everyone to accept? The same people will still be complaining if Shiloh grows up and dresses more like Sam Ronson than, say, Scarlett Johansson. Give the little girl a damn break.

Dear Ted:
About the last Bitch-Back, there was an email that suggests that A.T. contributes with the Robsten's madness. I agree, but just a little. We all are responsible for that. We all want to know about our favorite hottie couple, right? But my opinion is, yes, you talk about them a lot, but only because there is a lot to talk about. You don't cause damages at all, you don't invent the news that you report, you only report the truth. So you can stop or slow down, but what about the rest of the world? Comparatively, you are only a mosquito bite (not in a pejorative way). And if you stop it, or even slow down, we lost a very trustworthy source, and that cannot be good for anyone, especially Robsten.
—afrodita

Dear Share the Blame:
Thanks for the support, doll, even if you just called me a bug. We sure hope we're not driving Robsten over the edge! We only want the best for them.

Dear Ted:
Love all of you guys there at the A.T. I, like some of you, have absolutely gone completely insane over Robsten. I probably need professional help! The question I have is...can any of you recall a time in the past that a celebrity couple has had this kind of following?
—bubbley

Dear Short Term Memory:
Brangelina is the only one that comes close, if only for the controversial (and oh so similar) way they got together.

Dear Ted:
I really hope there are only four Twilight movies. I know Stephenie Meyer thinks that everything about Breaking Dawn is important and therefore needs two movies, but she's no J.K. Rowling! The last Harry Potter book needs two movies because every little stinkin' detail matters. Not so much with Twilight. I'm really feeling bad for Rob and Kristen these days and think the sooner they are done with Twilight, the better for them. Both would have to agree to another movie and all of the press first, right? Love you and the rest of Team Awful!
—J

Dear Breaking Up Breaking Dawn:
We're all for as many Twilight movies as Summit wants to make, as long as R.Pattz and K.Stew stick around for all of them. Although it does delay their freedom a little bit longer.

Dear Ted:
What do you think of George Clooney's latest girlfriend? Will she go the way of girlfriends past?
—mommakris

Dear Hi and Bye:
Is there any doubt? The babe better be prepared for this just to be a fun phase and nothing more. Obviously the real key to Clooney's heart is gonna be somebody who isn't some anonymous model or waitress no one's heard of. They're too desperate to be Mrs. Clooney. He needs a challenge.

Dear Ted:
Just finished watching the New Moon Death Cab for Cutie video. Do you think Summit's starting to wise up that people want to see Robsten/Bellward? Because all you see of Taylor Lautner is an arm (which might not even be his) and you know Summit had to OK which clips were used in the vid.
—Tammy

Dear Tough on Taylor:
I think they're done trying to make Taylor Lautner a star—their trick worked; he is. Now it's back to basics, i.e., focusing on the real romantic focus of the franchise.

Dear Ted:
Emma Thompson signed the "Free Polanski" petition. I actually think a little part of me just died, given that I always thought of her as the coolest, smartest writer/actress in Hollywood. If Kate Winslet signs on I quit. I realize that's not really a question, but it's nice to vent to one of the only people not protecting that scumbag. Thanks!
—Megan

Dear Vent Away:
I truly have no idea what the hell's going on in the heads of Emma, Monica Bellucci and Tilda Swinton, and all the women who have signed the petition…though protecting children and the law isn't just a women's issue. All the men, too, who signed it should be ashamed.

Dear Ted:
Stinky Carrot-Crotch has to be Zach Braff! He's totally funny on Scrubs, the way he plays J.D. is brilliant, but he looks like an awful kisser! How much better could he be in the sack?
—Krystyna

Dear Kiss and Tell:
It's not Braff as SCC—but Z.B.'s dated quite a few notable H'wood gals, so he can't be all bad!

Dear Ted:
Hey boy, I'm really sorry to hear about the heartbreak, but you may be letting your heartbreak affect your work. It seems like you've gotten bitter and cynical and have begun to enjoy toying with us. Tell us, does Jensen Ackles have anything in common with Judas Jack-Off?
—jblondie

Dear Nice Try:
Who's toying with who here?