Dear Ted:
Saw the On the Road trailer and wow—Garrett Hedlund is so sexy in it! Which leads me to wonder: He plays the bad boy role so well, does he have any Vicey behavior off-screen? He looks like trouble and a half!
—Dina
Dear Here We Go Again:
Ah yes, the inevitable questions about Garrett's Viciness, only to be followed—I assume—by Q's about his relaysh with Kristen Stewart. We went through the speculation before when cameras were rolling, but now that that trailer has hit the net (featuring a very naughty K.Stew), let's do quick update: Despite Kristen lovin' his "risk-taking," Mr. Hedlund is still moniker-free. And he has a different Vice star of choice these days: Kirsten Dunst.
Dear Ted:
I was going through the Blind Vice archives and ran across and oldie but a goodie. What's going on with Maribeth Bush? Is she still climbing the Hollywood Ladder and stepping over everyone to get to the top! Thanks!
—Cindy
Dear Money Talks:
Puh-lease, Cindy. When you've got ovaries on ya like Maribeth does (trust, she is not afraid to tell those studio folk what's what) you don't have to climb that ladder very long. The 'tude-tastic Ms. Bush is at the top of her game.
Dear Ted:
Since Nevis Divine already has a girlfriend, I'm wondering if he still hooks up with other girls on the side, or is it just other guys? Or is he now sticking to only his girlfriend and Barrington?
—Kiwibri
Dear Monogamy for Three:
Nev's not strictly a one woman and one man dude. That said, he's not exactly the Casanova of open relationships.
Dear Ted:
I'm curious about Whitney Houston. When you said she had a B.V. that hadn't been revealed, did you mean she already had a moniker but you weren't saying which one she was? Or, my theory, did you mean you knew of her Vices and hadn't written her Vice yet?
—LNS
Dear Stick With Your Gut:
The latter, doll.
Dear Ted:
What is going on with Crotch Uh-Lastic? Is his drug use getting worse? I have a feeling Crotch has been running with the wrong crowd. Has anyone tried to stage an intervention to help him? Any new beards on the horizon?
—WilliamS
Dear Question Overload:
In the order you asked: Nothing productive. Yes. No. No. It's not exactly like he's suffering from peer pressure these days, William, Crotch is self-inflicting all the crapola that's going down in his life.
Dear Ted:
I've been a loyal reader for years! Love your column. Finally decided to take a guess at one of the BV's. Is Toothy Tile a moniker for John Travolta? Love you!
—Anna
Dear No:
J.T.'s got a different moniker. Oh, and T2 also isn't any of these guys.