Afternoon Mail! Is Amber Heard Our New Vice Chick?

Readers wonder if the former Playboy Club star is our lady-lovin’ Blind Vicer

Dear Ted:
Your newest Vice star Chuck Finger-Dingle sounds a lot like Amber Heard, but it can't be right? Amber is out of the closet so that's hardly a scandal. Does Chuck have anything in common with Amber, such as hair color perhaps?
—Lisa 

Dear Not Even Close:
You're right, Lis, Amber is not Ms. Finger-Dingle. Even if she's not into the lesbian label, A.H. is much more open about her lady-lovin' ways than Chuck is. Oh, and they don't have the same hair color—at least not now.

Dear Ted:
Has Vander Van Der Butt done anything to earn the ire of his costar Trixie Twinkle-Twat, or is she just jealous that Hollywood loves him more than it does her?
—Mike

Dear Butt-ing In:
Trix is green with envy of anyone who might try to steal her limelight, which Vander is doing, BTW. And trust me, green is so not TTT's color.

Dear Ted:
Can you pretty please share some deets about Emma Stone's Blind Vice? Someone so pretty and popular has gotta have one! Does it involve Andrew Garfield?  
—Lyn

Dear No Dice:
Emma must be extra special then, ‘cause even with those luscious locks and big box-office flicks, she's still Vice-free. Shocker, huh?! I'm surprised that's lasted this long, especially with all these H'wood hunks absolutely drooling over her.

Dear Ted:
I know Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are a real couple, but do you think one of the factors that keeps them together is the attention they receive? Apart they still get a ton of press, but together they get twice as much.
—N

Dear But of Course:
Plus, I'm sure when the world wants you to be together it's that much harder to call it quits—not that Robsten are looking to end things.

Dear Ted:
I'm a newbie to the A.T. and greatly enjoyed reading about Toothy Tile's antics. It seems he's been quite secretive lately, is this due to daddy duty?
—Z

Dear Parental Control:
Welcome, babe. As for Mr. Tile, his papa patrol may have something to do with his flying under the radar lately, but there's more to the picture than just that. He's always been able to manage Vicing and changin' diapers in the past.

Dear Ted:
Love your latest Vice! You mentioned that Chuck Finger-Dingle has had hetero onscreen romances, but has she had any onscreen girl-on-girl action as well?
—H

Dear Swings Both Ways:
I'd have to check her IMDb page, but nothing that I can think of off the top of my head. That's not to say she's not open to it—she loves taking on controversial roles.