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Teen Mom's Amber Portwood: "I'm Still Suicidal"

After being rushed to the hospital following a panic attack, troubled reality star tells E! News she is still depressed and victim of bullying

By Drusilla Moorhouse, Katie Rhames Oct 07, 2011 10:10 PMTags
Amber PortwoodMTV

Amber Portwood just hit a huge pothole on her road to recovery.

Less than two months after checking out of a rehab facility, where she was being treated for depression and anger management following a suicide attempt, the Teen Mom star was rushed to the hospital again.

What was the emergency this time?

Amber apparently suffered a severe panic attack Wednesday. "I couldn't breathe and I passed out," the beleaguered baby mama tells E! News exclusively. "I stopped breathing."

Amber's recent anguish has done little to inspire public sympathy for the reality star. Tabloids have recently reported that she has been partying and rarely visits Leah, her daughter with Gary Shirley.

"Honestly, I feel like I did two months ago. I'm still suicidal," Amber revealed to E! News today.  "I'm f--king depressed. My family's not together."

Amber says she is most upset about "lies" reported by tabloids like Life & Style, whose cover story this week quotes her brother, Shawn Portwood, as saying his sister spends more time out on the town than seeing her 2-year-old: "I don't even know if Amber wants full custody of Leah," Shawn reportedly told the magazine. "She enjoys her freedom too much right now."

"What hurts me the most is when people believe the lies about me," Amber tells E! News. "The bullying is too much to handle. Look at the rate of teen deaths related to bullying. It's scary."

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Amber insists she doesn't have a drinking problem. "I went to rehab for depression and anger management, not drug or alcohol abuse," she says. "I have been out twice since I left rehab and I'm 21. I take my medication the way I'm supposed to."

Nor is Amber relinquishing custody of her daughter. "The only reason I am letting Gary have custody of Leah right now is to keep CPS off our backs," says the MTV troublemaker, who is serving probation following a plea deal this summer in her felony domestic battery case. "I see Leah whenever I can. I have stipulations as to when I can and can't see her."

There is one bright spot in Amber's life right now: her relationship with her mother. "My mom knows everything that's going on in my life right now and we're great," she tells E! News.

A good thing too—sounds like Amber needs all the support she can get right now.

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