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Spider-Man 3: Let's Try to Care

Tue., Apr. 24, 2007 11:40 AM PDT by Caroline Kepnes

Columbia Pictures

Calm down, comic boys. You know what I mean when I say that it's hard to foam at the mouth for Spider-Man 3. There's just no mystery anymore. The curiosity factor is all but dead. Hey, producer Avi Arad even flat-out says he wishes the novelization wouldn't go on sale and suck all the suspense out of the storytelling. Agreed—come on studio, stop with your greed!

We know Tobey Maguire can act, duh. We know Sam Raimi can direct, double duh. And above all, we know that a guy who can scale walls in a unitard is fundamentally compelling. So, it's kind of like Bono and the Edge teaming up to do the music for Spidey Goes to Broadway in terms of pop cultural saturation: You're talented. You do good stuff. We get it already!

What is new, you ask? Well, Spider-Man 3 is—hooray!—all about the dancing. They basically should have rung up Bruce Springsteen and borrowed the title Dancing in the Dark for this movie, what with Peter Parker developing a huge ego and busting out the moves. Okay, and there were a few other offbeat moments at the Spidey junket that made my web crawl. Bad metaphor. I know. But let's go.

Columbia Pictures

1. Tobey Maguire Doesn't Sit Around Watching Saturday Night Fever: Maguire says, and I quote, "I saw that a long time ago, but I didn't watch it to reference him (John Travolta) in the movie." Oh, and don't make fun of Tobey for dancing dorky. He totally did that on purpose. He went on about it. I mean, it was like Dancing with the Stars judgment time, in terms of the analysis. Seriously.

2. Bryce Dallas Howard Doesn't Want to Piss Off fans, or Kirsten Dunst, or Anyone Actually: When asked to talk about a certain sexy scene that does, on some level, step on Dunst's toes, Bryce—who plays Spidey's other love interest—did some pro tap dancing: "Forgive me, but I'd love it if we could keep that a secret if possible. I do feel like the romance between Mary Jane and Peter Parker is the most important thing is this film so, if people know that something like that is going to occur, they're going to go with certain expectations." Well done, honey.

Ash Knotek/ZUMApress.com

3. Deconstructing Harry Should Get a Minispike in Netflix Orders: Which is awesome. The Woody Allen movie, wherein a writer's short stories are played out on screen, is one of my favorites. And Thomas Haden Church (apparently he plays Sandman or something) mentioned that he thinks Tobey was "hysterical" in Harry.

4. If You Think It Would Rock to Be Forced into Dance Lessons with James Franco, Think Again: Here's what Dunst had to say about those lessons: "Yeah. I can do the twist. I dance. They brought me all the way down to Culver City, and I was like, why are we here? Twist lessons. Are you kidding me? You brought me all the way down here to do the twist? It's not the hardest dance in the world. I did a twist lesson with James, helped him out a little bit." Quick, somebody saint this chick, now!

5. Tobey Is Not So Good with the Names: He was in great spirits, definitely has that daddy glow, which could explain why he was so chill about not being up on news and names. Enjoy this little slice of life from the press room:

JOURNALIZER: Certain actors can do movies that will have the same type of character. Can you see yourself doing another sort of graphic novel or comic book genre? Like, Zack is doing Watchmen next.

TOBEY: The funniest part about that whole thing is that you just said, "Zack is doing Watchmen next," like I'm supposed to know what all that means. [Laughs.] Who is Zack?

JOURNALIZER: Zack Snyder.

TOBEY: Oh, okay. The director who did 300. Yeah, I don't think I'll be playing another iconic superhero from a comic book. I mean, I think that would be kind of odd, and I would guess that it would be kind of odd for audiences to accept me in that way. But sure, what was that thing with Viggo Mortensen? That was from a graphic novel wasn't it?

JOURNALIZER: A History of Violence.

TOBEY: Yeah, there are a lot of things that take on a different tone. Like I said, I wouldn't go and be in another film where I was an iconic superhero. I mean it would be weird.

So help me, if tomorrow news breaks that Tobey is playing in a remake of Flash Gordon, I will laugh so hard. Wait, no. That would actually be great. Oh man, now I want to go watch Flash!