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Save Britney, Save the World

Britney Spears INFphoto.com

Okay, you call yourself a Britney Spears fan...but are you ready to go all the way? Like a father working hard to keep his daughter off the pole—someone needs to keep Britney outta the bars and away from the drugs (legal or otherwise).

Just yesterday, the judge in her custody case ordered her to attend counseling and submit to semiweekly testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol. What does Brit do? Well, last night, she went to Winston's and Hyde.

Listen, we poke fun, but we don't actually want her to bottom out and lose custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James. It's just too sad. But she's obviously not taking this seriously. So, we suggest that her fans and family (where are you, Lynne?) unite in an effort to keep the pop singer off the sauce.

Sit on her if you have to. Steal her keys. Hold all suitable wigs hostage. Throw yourself across the velvet rope at Hyde. Go to iTunes and actually buy "Gimme More" to build her confidence and give her something to live for.  

She may hate you—temporarily. But doesn't it beat the alternative?

(For all the details on the judge's ruling, check out our news story.)

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