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Rise 'n' Shine: Brad Pitt Is a Basterd

Brad Pitt, Inglorious Basterds (poster) Francois Duhamel/ TWC 2009

That's Brad Pitt as the Nazi-scalp craving lieutenant basterd in the new Inglourious Basterds posters. Is there any way to tie this to Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston? No? How are we supposed to make people care then?!

More concerns that Lindsay Lohan is corrupting her 15-year-old sister, Ali, with "partying hard." Hmmm, hard in italics? This is serious.

Hayden Panettiere says if she was addicted to something, it’d be sex. But what about all that abstinence nonsense the other day? Don't even try to make this make sense. It's not worth it.

In case you were wondering why that whole Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow engagement thing didn't work however many ages ago that was, the answer's out there now.

• Anna Wintour is pissed that all anyone can talk about after the Met Gala is Kiefer Sutherland’s head-butting. Whatever, we probably wouldn't be talking about it at all if Kiefer had acted like a normal person.

We guess we can give Anna what she wants and review the gala dresses one more time before we purge our memories of this past week's celebrity happenings.

Seriously, guys, follow us on Twitter @eonline, we've got a 500,000 mark to break.

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