Rihanna: We’ll Have One Order of “Yowza” With a Side of “Day-Um”

When you have a booty like this one, the world can be yours

Dear RiRi: You may be a Barbadian beauty queen with legs for days, but people who obsess over your eyes or skin or gams are clearly missing out on the best part you have to offer. 

 Because, sister, there is a serious party happening on your back porch, and we are so glad we were invited.

 Please allow us to thank you for wearing this ensemble to the Battleship premiere in Los Angeles this week. We love the Adam Selman dress, white Manolo Blahnik sandals and jewels by Vhernier and Neil Lane.

But really, our fave accessory has to be the ass. As we write this, we can pretty much guarantee that Chris Brown is spamming the refresh button on his Twitter account, cursing himself for dissing you in his latest stupid song, and praying against hope that you will refollow him.

 Do not be tempted, girlie. When you have a booty like that, the world can be yours. Stay away from your BlackBerry, keep wearing outfits like this, and within eight years, you'll be pope or president or whatever you want. Just do us one favor: Make sure that ass is your running mate.