PETA Gets Catty with Clay

PETA has measured Clay Aiken's manhood and found it lacking.

After Aiken confessed his hatred of felines in a recent Rolling Stone interview, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals joined forces with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog in a combined effort to "poop on" the American Idol runner-up.

A new ad campaign by the activist group features the cigar-chomping puppet Triumph, wearing a post-surgery collar and bandages over his recently clipped nether region, proclaiming the message: "Get Neutered--It didn't hurt Clay Aiken."

The ad was supposed to go public this week, but is currently on indefinite hold after PETA was swamped by protests from the singer's fans and chastised by his lawyer.

"We're in a slight holding pattern. We're always flexible," PETA spokeswoman Ingrid Newkirk told the New York Daily News. "We got a lawyer calling and our lawyers said maybe we can work something out, make the ad evaporate, and put a leash on the insult dog."

PETA's rage was ignited after the seemingly mild-mannered Aiken admitted his disdain for all things kitty, saying in a much-publicized quote, "I think cats are Satan. There's nothing worse to me than a house cat. When I was about 16, I had a kitten and ran over it."

The group promptly rifled off a letter to the singer, suggesting that he publicly announce that cats are actually "deserving of kindness, respect and love, and that everybody should always be kind to animals."

When Aiken failed to respond, PETA took action and created the Triumph ad.

"It may rub some people the wrong way, but it's poking fun with a serious message," said Dan Mathews, vice president of PETA.

Both fans and detractors of Aiken have posted messages on his official Website, voicing their opinions on the spat.

Poster Jim Diver heartily backed Aiken, while questioning the stability of PETA staffers.

"Anyone who opposes PETA is a friend of mine," Diver wrote. "Peta [sic] is nothing more than a bunch of kooks who wish they were animals and not humans. Give 'em hell!"

Another poster, Barbara, expressed her sympathy and support for the fallen Idol.

"Clay, I'm sorry you have to go through this. You have every right as a FREE AMERICAN to not like cats. Do you people NOT get that," Barbara raged. "I agree with PETA in that animals need to be treated respectfully, but seriously do you think you have the right to enforce everyone to like a certain animal. So you had an accident where a cat was fatally injured and it affected you traumatically, does that make you a bad person? NO."

Several other posters weighed in on the fact that they thought that PETA should actually stand for People Eating Tasty Animals, because that would be funnier.

Jennifer, an apparent cat-lover, took a different tact with her post, chastising Aiken for using his celeb status in such a negative manner.

"Clay, you are a big man celebrity now, you have to watch what you say. Saying you ran over a kitten is not funny. It is cruel and sick," Jennifer wrote. "Why would anyone want to idolize you. Killing an innocent animal is horrible. No one owes you an apology. You should apologize for being so insensitive."

Aiken and his attorney have yet to offer a public opinion on the topic, begging the obvious question: What's the matter, cat got your tongue?

PETA has offered Aiken an out, Mathews said. If the singer posts a message on his Website urging his fans to spay or neuter their pets, and gives PETA an interview for their Website, the ad will be modified to read "Cut 'em off. They don't taste that great anyway."

However, if Aiken does not respond the group says it will run the ads beginning next week, placing them primarily in men's magazines.

Aiken's album Measure of a Man debuted at the top of the charts last month and has sold around 1 million copies so far.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog released his own CD and DVD, Come Poop With Me earlier this month. The video for his single, "I Keed," is currently in heavy rotation on MTV's TRL.