Paris' Intellect Not So Hot

Money can't buy happiness, or so the saying goes. Nor, as evidenced by Paris Hilton's recent deposition in a slander lawsuit, can it buy brainpower.

The airhead heiress was deposed in November in connection with the $10 million defamation suit filed against her by diamond heiress Zeta Graff, a former flame of Hilton's ex-fiancé, Paris Latsis.

Graff took legal action against Hilton last summer, alleging that the celebutante had fed "vicious lies" about her to the New York Post's Page Six.

The offending item claimed that Graff went "berserk" at a London nightclub and attacked the Simple Life star, attempting to rip a multimillion-dollar diamond necklace off her neck.

Hilton now admits the incident never happened, but denies she was responsible for feeding the lies about Graff to the press, and places the blame on her former publicist, Rob Shuter.

Shuter gave a deposition in December in which he fingered Hilton as the sole source behind the Page Six story and even produced an email from Hilton in which she refers to the item as "genius."

Hilton has responded to Shuter's claims by calling him "a f--king liar" and downplayed the credibility of her email, stating that "whatever I write in email, it doesn't mean anything. It is just words I write."

During her deposition, currently available for viewing on TMZ.com, Hilton also demonstrated a remarkable deficit in her working knowledge of both geography and Greek culture.

When questioned on the last name of a companion identified as Terry, who was with her on the night of the reported run-in with Graff, Hilton replied, "It is like a weird Greek name. Like, Douglas."

The party-loving socialite explained that she couldn't be bothered to remember the names of everyone in her crowd.

"I meet so many people. I don't even know some of my friends' names," Hilton said.

Later, Graff's lawyer, Paul Berra, asked her if she was aware that the false item had made its way into "U.K. publications."

"No," Hilton replied. "There is stuff in London."

Her lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in to explain, "London is a U.K. publication."

"Right. U.K. Whatever," Hilton answered, per the deposition.

Hilton attributed her confusion about where the article might have been republished to the fact that she spent the summer in Europe, where she was faced with a language barrier.

"I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is is like French," she explained. "I didn't see anything because I wasn't in America."

Though Hilton has backed down from her original version of her encounter with Graff, she claimed that she did exchange words with her rival on the night in question.

"I just said to her...she is old and should stay at home with her child instead of being at nightclubs with young people," Hilton said. "And just that--I just--what else did I say? Just that she is not cute at all."

She also claimed that Graff had threatened Latsis, claiming she was going to "send Mexican people to come and beat the s--t out of him," and that she was intimidated by Graff after Latsis warned her that the diamond heiress might "do voodoo" on her.

"And I kind of do believe in that stuff a little bit, so I was a little bit scared about that," Hilton said. (Plus, voodoo is so not hot.)

As Graff's case picks up speed, Hilton may have more to fear than black magic. The diamond heiress has expressed confidence that she will win her case against her rival.

"Hilton will learn a valuable lesson about what happens when you try to ruin another person's reputation," Graff recently told the New York Post. "She made a number of false statements about me, and she repeatedly lied under oath during her recent deposition. I look forward to her explaining all of this to a jury."

Graff isn't the only one with a bone to pick with the saucy socialite. Party promoter Brian Quintana is seeking a restraining order against Hilton, claiming she has repeatedly threatened his life and damaged his career. A hearing in the matter was postponed until Feb. 7.