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Paris' Handwriting Analysis

Paris Hilton Letter

Paris needs some sexual healing. Honest. We consulted a handwriting expert to examine the letter Paris wrote recently in jail and, apparently, "the extra extension on the top of her g's indicates a desire for some sexual attention that she probably is not getting in her prison cell," says certified graphologist Paula A. Sassi. (Though we're pretty sure it's not for lack of interest among the other Sapphic-oriented inmates.)

So, what else does Paris' penmanship prove? "Her writing is pretty immature and lacking depth, but she is a creative and amiable type," says Sassi. She goes on to point out that while Lynwood's most famous prisoner is a little emotionally unsettled at the moment, Paris' closely placed letters indicate she's the same old self-absorbed heiress that we know and love and that her signature suggests "she still craves attention."

Nice to know jail hasn't completely crushed her spirit!

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