"Osbournes," NBA Shoot, Don't Score

The New Jersey Nets weren't the only ones shooting air balls in prime time last week.

Ozzy and the Osbournes, wannabe stars (adult division), wannabe stars (kid division) and one hundred hotties all missed the basket during the TV week ended Sunday.

The lowlights:

The un-anticipated hoops matchup between the San Antonio Spurs and the Nets of New Jersey, as barely seen on ABC, scored the lowest ever ratings for an NBA Finals since the series made its prime-time debut more than 20 years ago, according to Nielsen Media Research. The third-season premiere of MTV's The Osbournes was expletive-deleted up, with viewership down nearly 50 percent from last fall. Just 3.4 million people joined Ozzy's bleepin' clan for their all-new adventures, which began last Tuesday. In November 2002, the show's second-season opener was sampled by 6.6 million. NBC's Fame faded--its two weekly installments averaging 7.4 million, down from the 9.6 million the star-search show has been averaging since bowing last month. Fame's kiddie counterpart, Fox's American Juniors, also failed to hit the high notes. The pint-sized American Idol drew 8.7 million (24th place), down from its 10.3 million season-to-date average. NBC's partnership with men's magazine Maxim went cold with the Saturday night special, Maxim's Hot 100. The babe-watching show was watched by just 2.6 million (100th place) voyeurs without access to pay cable.

Of these underperformers, the basketball series was the most costly bust. ABC is paying $2.4 billion for a package that saw one of its would-be showcase moments, Friday's Game 5 (21st place, 9.3 million viewers), outpointed by a repeat of NBC's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (10th place, 10.5 million).

Similarly, Wednesday's Game 4 (17th place, 9.7 million) had trouble shaking competition from the likes of a fresh 48 Hours Investigates (ninth place, 10.8 million) on CBS, and a slightly used Law & Order (fourth place, 12.4 million) on NBC.

Only Sunday's Game 6, in which the Spurs put the Nets out of our misery and claimed the championship title, was a clear winner, netting 11.6 million fans (sixth place).

Overall, ratings for the Spurs-Nets series was off more than 30 percent from last year's Los Angeles Lakers-Nets series, as seen on NBC.

But even bad basketball numbers are good numbers for the viewer-challenged ABC. Last year, minus the NBA, ABC averaged just 5.5 million during a comparable ratings period. Last week, with the NBA, the Alphabet averaged 7.1 million.

Even then, however, ABC couldn't do better than third place, running behind NBC (8.36 million) and CBS (8.35 million). Fox was fourth, averaging 5.9 million.

ABC had better luck with hockey. Last Monday's Game 7 of the NHL Stanley Cup championship was watched by 7.2 million puck heads (42nd place)--the biggest TV audience for a pro hockey game on record. The series proved bittersweet, though, for ABC's corporate parents, with Disney's own Anaheim Mighty Ducks being downed by the New Jersey Devils.

The summer season stayed cool, with repeats of scripted shows, such as CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (first place, 14.6 million), dominating, and all-new scripted shows, such as Fox's Keen Eddie (70th place, 5 million), floundering.

The long-delayed second season of CBS' talking-tot sitcom, Baby Bob, continued to burn off episodes quietly--68th place, 5.1 million viewers. Likewise, the long-delayed series premiere of NBC's Nathan Lane political sitcom, Charlie Lawrence, came in with a whimper--74th place, 4.7 million.

Two episodes of the WB's summertime sub The O'Keefes were the week's two least watched programs on the major five networks, averaging just 1.5 million.

Among new reality shows, NBC's Last Comic Standing: The Search for the Funniest Person in America played to a good crowd--9.7 million viewers (14th place). The network's For Love or Money, beset with bad publicity for bachelor star Rob Campos, held up okay (23rd place, 8.9 million).

A Dateline NBC interview with the parents of murdered Modesto, California, woman Laci Peterson drew strong interest, befitting the high-profile case--11.2 million viewers, eighth place.

Here's a rundown of the 10 most watched shows for the week ended Sunday, according to Nielsen Media Research:

1. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, CBS, 14.6 million viewers
2. Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS, 14 million viewers
3. CSI: Miami, CBS, 12.8 million viewers
4. Law & Order, NBC, 12.4 million viewers
5. Still Standing, CBS, 12 million viewers
6. NBA Finals Game 6, ABC, 11.6 million viewers
7. Without a Trace, CBS, 11.4 million viewers
8. Dateline NBC (Monday), NBC, 11.2 million viewers
9. 48 Hours Investigates, CBS, 10.8 million viewers
10. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, NBC, 10.5 million viewers