Nicollette: Desperately Bad Taste?

Apparently, Mr. Blackwell is desperate to inspire Nicollette Sheridan to change stylists.

The fashion-bashing guru ranked the newly enagaged Desperate Housewives star as number one on his 45th Annual Worst Dressed Women list, released Tuesday.

"In barely-there bombs, she's a taste-free pain," Blackwell crowed. "Let's crown her the Tacky Temptress of Wisteria Lane!"

Barely there...or perhaps not there at all. Back in November, Sheridan wound up in the center of an indecency scandal after she taped a steamy ABC Monday Night Football promo with Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens in which she appeared to be completely nude.

The promo was roundly panned by sport writers and the NFL, and the FCC said it received over 50,000 comments.

No word on whether Blackwell was one of the concerned citizens who phoned in to express his outrage over the combo of nudity and football, but it seems unlikely. Though the style maven proclaimed 2004 "the year of the wardrobe malfunction," he referred to Janet Jackson's infamous Super Bowl nipple slip a "total tempest in a teapot" when compared to other fashion fouls committed by various celebs.

"From a movie legend to television favorites to rock divas to press-hungry "it" girls, 2004 was a mind-boggling mix of the bad, the sad and the downright ugly," Blackwell announced. "Narrowing down the candidates to a manageable 10 was almost as difficult as trying to pronounce Meet the Fockers without offending Grandma."

Coming in at number two on Blackwell's list of fashionistas-gone-wrong was the exhaustion-suffering star of Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan.

"Overhyped and underdressed," Blackwell stated. "What's happened to Lindsay? When it comes to fashion, she's in a schizophrenic frenzy!"

Trailing Lohan in poor style were Simpson sisters Ashlee and Jessica, who tied for third place on Blackwell's list.

"From gaudy...to grim...to downright frenetic...these two prove that bad taste is positively genetic!" Blackwell stated.

Jessica, a repeat offender, moved, er, up to the number three slot from the fifth-place perch she earned last year.

Other Blackwell repeats included last year's ninth-worst dressed woman, Courtney Love, who moved up to fourth place ("Medusa stuck in a meltdown mode!"); last year's number two finisher, Britney Spears, who dropped to number seven ("a clothes encounter of the catastrophic kind!"); and last year's Worst Dressed Woman, Paris Hilton, who slid back to fifth place.

"Paris' 'designer' is obviously on vacation--this is one Hilton that should be closed for renovation!" Blackwell crowed.

Other celebs deemed fashion-challenged by Blackwell included number eight, Paula Abdul ("dresses with all the restraint of a revved-up Simon Cowell!") and number 10, the TrimSpa'd but still stylistically-stymied Anna Nicole Smith ("looks like a rag doll trapped in a wind machine!").

Blackwell was, as always, careful to point out that his barbs are directed solely at his targets' wardrobes of choice and do not carry over into their professional lives.

Meanwhile, Blackwell did have a few kind words to offer to those he deemed his "Fabulous Fashion Independents of 2004," including Kate Winslet, Nicole Kidman, Barbara Walters and Sheridan's Desperate costar, Teri Hatcher--women he claimed "emerged like shining stars on a rain-soaked night."

"Take a tip from these divas of design the next time you need instant inspiration," Blackwell advised.

Here's a complete look at Mr. Blackwell's 45th Annual Worst Dressed List:

1. Nicollette Sheridan
2. Lindsay Lohan
3. (tie) Ashlee and Jessica Simpson
4. Courtney Love
5. Paris Hilton
6. Serena Williams
7. Britney Spears
8. Paula Abdul
9. Meryl Streep
10. Anna Nicole Smith