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Primeval
Anyone who actually knows what the word "primeval" means has doubtless wondered what it has to do with "the world's most prolific serial killer," assuming the word "prolific" didn't trip them up.
Recent TV spots have acknowledged "he is not human," but you'd never know from the advance publicity that the character in question is in fact a giant crocodile named Gustave. This seems an odd promotional misstep by Hollywood Pictures; serial killer flicks are a dime a dozen, but we don't get giant killer reptile movies anywhere near often enough.
But as it turns out, the real reason Primeval didn't screen for reviewers is so that we couldn't reveal the fact that the croc hardly ever even appears on screen. There's just an eternity of buildup with really boring leads (Dominic Purcell, Brooke Langton, Gideon Emery) and a couple of supporting actors who try mightily to add a pulse to the proceedings (Orlando Jones, Jürgen Prochnow).
Steve Irwin and Paul Hogan are sorely missed, and the R rating is a cruel hoax—this is one relatively bloodless, sexless, toothless crock of a film.
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