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The Chumscrubber

C-
Any Heathers or Donnie Darko fan worth their salt will tell you that being a suburban teenager sucks. But this movie wants to tell you again. It's the story of a well-off suburban kid (Billy Elliot's Jamie Bell) whose best friend commits suicide. His best friend was also the school drug dealer, so to get access to the drugs, Bell and his pals kidnap a kid they think is the dealer's younger brother. But they're all on drugs so, duh, they take the wrong kid. But guess what? None of the parents seem to notice or care! That's probably why these kids are so alienated and lost and on drugs and kidnapping each other! Oh, the humanity! But trite plot mechanics could be forgiven if it were either funny enough or dramatically weighty enough to be as memorable as the movies it apes. But it's not. Sorry, chum.

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