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Morning Piss: More Family Abuse

Michael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Jemal Countess/Getty Images; Jeff Frank/ZumaPress.com

I'm not supposed to tell you this, but when have I ever been good at that? There's a British TV series on pop culture I've been participating in (more details when it comes closer to launch), and they're doing some interviews with Michael Lohan, can you ever guess why?

"He wants to help his daughter," chirped one of the producers on the insanely funny and cheeky program. "He wants to spread the word how much he wants to help her."

"Oh, yeah," I said, "by telling you all and the rest of the world all about it is a great way to do it," tongue in cheek firmer than mom Dina's hatred for Michael. "Great plan."

What is it with these Lohan's talking about their troubles to everybody else but each other? I mean, just take a look at Lindsay Lohan's Tweets about how much she, too, despises her father, to get a chilly picture.

Are the Lohans the new Gosselins? Or are the Gosselins the old Lohans? Either way, it all sucks, and the ones who are getting screwed here are the kids. Just look at Lindsay, if you don't believe me.

Why aren't the family courts looking into media abuse is what I want to know.

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