Morning Mail! Blind Vice Special Edition!

Dear Ted:
I was just wondering if Chubster Hunkster's missus has a history of hooking up with Vicers? I suspect she is an ex of one the newest members of the B.V. club. Am I right?
—Michelle

Dear Way Off:
First of all, when did I ever say Chubster and his gal are married? Hmm. Are they? Also, Chubster's babe is the total opposite. She's not a player, sexually or professionally. Ironically, she has one of the best reputations in Hollywood. It's a shame her man can't be equally cool about his own behavior, in all regards.

Dear Ted:
With the new fall season well underway, I was wondering which new shows have Hollywood talking, in a Vicey way.
—Mike

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Dear Surprise, Surprise:
Actually, a lot of the gab I'm hearing about shows these days is actually about the work itself—like how many film homages can Ryan Murphy fit into his new show American Horror Story, or how OWN is putting "everything" into trying to make the poorly rated Rosie Show take off. However, one particularly emphatic lead TV star is making her bosses and costars so nervous over the fact that she's doing truck loads of cocaine that...wait! Why am I doing this? I should make this story a Vice later this week!

 Dear Ted:
Does Johnny Depp have a Blind Vice?
—nfentaud

Dear Nice Try:
Honey, Johnny doesn't hide things, at least not nearly to the point that many of his American colleagues do. Why do you think he split to France, already? The U.S. is far too provincial for him.

Dear Ted:
I was digging through your Blind Vice annals the other day, and I found some stuff that confirms to me that you used to not be a Jennifer Aniston fan. You gave her a hard time quite often a couple of years ago! Can I ask why you suddenly changed your mind and now you adore her? Did she win you over, or were you threatened by her people? She seems so incredibly warm and nice.
—sharkybradley

Dear Look:
I've been writing this blog for 212 years. Wouldn't it be weird if I didn't change my mind from time to time? True, I don't do it a lot, but I was really impressed by how Jennifer eventually moved on from Brad Pitt and became the classier of the two. Of course, it was silly how hard Jennifer tried to be sexy right after the divorce, stripping for every magazine cover she could, but then about a year later, I really do think Aniston moved more naturally into the sexiest time of her life. More power to her! (Lucky Justin.)

READ: Are Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox More Than Just Friends?

Dear Ted:
Gale Harold had the reputation of being difficult to work with. Has he changed now that The Secret Circle is doing so well? Does he have a B.V.?
—J

Dear Diva Trap:
Gale perhaps used to have a rep like that. Though, to be honest, Gale's one of the most private public figures who ever was, and I think privacy can often be confused with snobbery, especially by the public. And to answer your question, no, he's not a Blind Vice star—or a supporting one, either. But he's so damn pretty, he sure should be.

Dear Ted:
If all of Robert Pattinson's fame and attention just suddenly disappeared after the Twilight films finished, how do you think he personally would react? Do you think he'd go into a panic, or just kind of accept it?
—jkingisawesome

Dear It's Obvious:
Panic? Are you nuts? Rob (who is already a Blind Vice all-star, by the way) would put Johnny Depp to shame and start living his life just as he pleased—all European debauchery out there in the open. It's actually not such a bad thought. Though, I'd never wish anything ill on R.Pattz, so never mind.

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