Mom Lohan Slams Leno

Safe to say Dina Lohan's not going to be heading to Blockbuster for Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo anytime soon.

Lindsay Lohan's mother is sounding off on Rob Schneider's spoof of the troubled actress on Tuesday night's Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Schneider was the go-to guest after the younger Lohan bailed following her DUI arrest.

"You know, we had Lindsay Lohan booked for our show tonight, but apparently she was already 'booked,' " cracked Leno. "I thought our competition was Letterman and Nightline, but it turns out its Cops and America's Most Wanted."

Cue Schneider, who stumbled out onstage as a poor man's Lindsay, donning a blond wig and black dress.

"We have great respect for Jay Leno, but we are disappointed in the path he chose to allow a guest to make light of a very serious situation concerning Lindsay," the Lohan matriarch wrote in an email to Access Hollywood.

She then praised CBS' Late Late Show emcee, Craig Ferguson, for "not making a mockery of such a serious situation to which teens and young adults are facing across the country!"

Lindsay Lohan was supposed to tape an appearance on the NBC late-night staple Tuesday afternoon to promote her new movie, I Know Who Killed Me. But she ended up pulling out after getting arrested around 2:15 a.m. that morning in Santa Monica on suspicion of driving under the influence, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine.

Leno called on Schneider as a last-minute substitute, and the pair milked the 21-year-old actress' latest tabloid-worthy headlines for all their worth.

The Saturday Night Live alum offered up his best impression of the younger Lohan, filling Leno in on "her" wild lifestyle, and showing off what was supposed to be an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet that doubled as a flask.

"I've been in a lot of films for my age. I kind of like Herbie: Fully Loaded," Schneider, in the guise of Lindsay, joked. "Herbie was the car. And I was fully loaded."

Needless to say, Dina Lohan wasn't in a laughing mood.

"This is a very personal and private matter and our only concern is to get Lindsay the help that she needs," she wrote. "We will get through this together and it will make our family stronger."

For his part, Schneider was unapologetic over his antics.

"Maybe if Elvis got arrested, he could possibly be alive today," the jokester told E! Online after the show. "There are worse things in the world, and I hope she gets her act together."

The Tonight segment became fodder for ABC's The View Wednesday. Barbara Walters said that while she understood comics were falling all over themselves in coming up with material for the latest celebrity train wreck, the skit just seemed "so mean."

But cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck wasn't as sympathetic, pointing out the inherent dangers "when a person who's drinking gets behind the wheel of a car when 43,000 people a year are killed by drunk drivers."

Despite her stated disapproval, Walters still ran video of Schneider's Tonight gig.

Perhaps with the consequences of such behavior at the forefront of her mind, Dina Lohan expressed solidarity with families going through similar crises.

"Our thoughts and prayers go out to all families who have had to see a family member through tough times," she added, signing the statement, "Dina and family."

Access Hollywood has become the favored email correspondent of the Lohan clan. Late Tuesday, Lindsay herself emailed to proclaim her innocence.

Meanwhile, Michael Lohan, who is estranged from wife Dina and daughter Lindsay, has been making the media rounds.

"We have got to put aside fighting each other and focus on our daughter, who clearly needs us right now," the elder Lohan, a recovering addict himself, told E! Online. "Lindsay needs her mother and her father to help her get through this. She won't make it without us."

Such sentiments ticked off Lindsay's 13-year-old sister, Ali Lohan.

"My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us," she wrote in an email to VH1.

"My mom was always there souporting us [sic]. I think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident [sic], is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior. And would always blame my mother."

Ali suggested that her scandalized sibling "will be fine" because she's "just like a normal sister."

Except for the rap sheet.