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Lopez Roasts Longoria, Lohan and De La Hoya
Steve Granitz/WireImage.com
Eva Longoria-Parker may have added husband Tony's last name to hers, but her pal George Lopez thinks it should be the other way around.
“I think Tony Parker should start the season as Tony Parker-Longoria,” Lopez joked at the Desperate Housewives star’s annual El Sueño de Esperanza Gala benefiting Padres Contra el Cancer. “When you're really whipped, you take your wife's name.”
The newlyweds weren’t Lopez’s only targets of the night. When a round of golf with him and his buddy Andy Garcia was auctioned off, Lopez promised that the day would be capped off with many margaritas.
“I can get you as drunk as Lindsay Lohan on a Friday afternoon, and I won't let you drive like Lindsay,” Lopez said. “I’ll take you home.”
As for another much maligned starlet, Lopez cracked that there would be a new fundraiser soon for Niños Contra Britney Spears, or Children Against Britney Spears, “so that she never comes within 100 feet from a child!”
And then there was Lopez’s Senator Larry Craig moment. “I was in the restroom earlier and in the next stall some dude was tapping his toe,” Lopez said. “That guy? Mario Lopez!”
But Mario, he quipped, was simply “tapping the last song he did with Karina on Dancing with the Stars."
Lopez even had the courage to take on a professional boxer. “We’re also going to have a photo booth with Oscar de La Hoya,” he said of the night's festivities, referring to photos on the X17 Website that purport to show de La Hoya dressed in women’s clothing.
De La Hoya has insisted that the alleged pics were the handiwork of Photoshoppers.
Even so, when the crowd let out a collective groan, Lopez joked again, "He was in the pictures! Don't boo me. You know what? I took the pictures!"
—Additional reporting by Matt Donnelly
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