Madonna Sweeps Razzies

Bad taste does not pause for bombs over Baghdad.

Accordingly, the 23rd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards went off without a hiccup this morning as Madonna tied pop tartlet Britney Spears for Worst Actress of 2002, even as that other awards show contemplates canceling its ceremony.

"War does not excuse Madonna's performance," said Razzies founder John Wilson, referring to Mrs. Ritchie's feature film effort Swept Away.

Meanwhile, Madonna-wannabe Spears went a long way toward emulating the original Material One with bookend Raspberries for her big-screen debut in Crossroads and her anthem "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman," which won for Worst Original Song.

But it was castaway Madge who truly swept the event, which honors the Worst Achievements in Film, with personal wins in three categories and two overall nods for her box-office flop--the lowest-grossing Worst Picture in Razzie history, earning just under $600,000 in ticket sales.

Along with her Worst Actress and Worst Picture "wins," Madonna was dissed with Worst Screen Couple for her beach romp with costar Adriano Giannini and Worst Supporting Actress for her Die Another Day cameo as fencing instructor, while her husband Guy Ritchie's directorial efforts on Swept Away were, uh, rewarded with Worst Remake and Worst Director--earning the duo the dubious distinction of worst filmmaking couple since John and Bo Derek.

"Even by her standards it's an incredibly unappealing performance," said Wilson, when the nominations were announced last month.

Swept Away's slurs make Madonna the most Razzed woman ever with nine career wins for such duds as Shanghai Surprise, Who's That Girl?, Madonna: Truth or Dare and The Next Best Thing. Can a lifetime achievement award be far behind?

Meanwhile, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, which entered the Rapsberry patch matching Swept Away's seven nominations, didn't go home empty-handed, scoring a Worst Screenplay nod for George "I've run out of ideas" Lucas and dubbing newcomer Hayden Christensen Worst Supporting Actor. Welcome to Hollywood.

Taking the Worst Actor dis-honor was former Best Actor Oscar winner Roberto Benigni for his wooden performance as Pinocchio, barely beating out fellow thespian Steven Seagal (could this be the work of the nefarious German mafia?).

Per tradition, the winners (or is that losers?) were announced 24 hours before the Academy hosts its shindig (dubbed "The Giving Out of the Little Gold Naked Men" by Razzie organizers) in an ultra low-budget ceremony at the Sheraton in Santa Monica.

While there's generally little crossover between the two events, Oscar organizers seeking to tone down their own ceremony could perhaps find inspiration in the no-frills Razzies. For instance, replacing the naked gold men with the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation's statuette: a golf ball-sized raspberry atop a mangled reel of Super 8 film spray-painted gold (estimated street value $4.89).

Here's a complete look at the winners of the 23rd Annual Golden Raspberry Awards:

Worst Film: Swept Away Worst Actor: Roberto Benigni (dubbed Godzilla-style by Breckin Meyer), Pinocchio Worst Actress: (tie) Madonna, Swept Away, and Britney Spears, Crossroads Worst Supporting Actor: Hayden Christensen, Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones Worst Supporting Actress: Madonna, Die Another Day Most Flatulent Teen-Targeted Movie: Jackass: The Movie Worst Screen Couple: Adriano Giannini and Madonna, Swept Away Worst Director: Guy Ritchie, Swept Away Worst Remake/Sequel: Swept Away Worst Screenplay: Star Wars: Episode II (aka Yada-Yada-Yoda), George Lucas and Jonathan Hales Worst Song: "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman," Crossroads