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Live Like a Real Housewife (Without the Bankruptcy Filing) for $3.99 Million!

Thu., Jun. 10, 2010 5:45 PM PDT by Gina Serpe

Bravo Photo / Virginia Sherwood

My, how the table-tossers posers mighty have fallen.

It was only a matter of time before The Real Housewives of New Jersey's head guidette, Teresa Giudice, and occasionally intolerant hubby Joe were forced to sell their custom-designed, marble-heavy, beyond-their-means home, and that time is now.

Well, filing for bankruptcy does have a funny way of forcing relocation. But good news for anyone with $4 million burning a hole in their pocket—if, unlike Teresa, you don't mind living in a "used" home, it could be yours.

Here's what six figures can buy a gal in Franklin Lakes Towaco, N.J.: 10,000-square-feet on 3.77 acres, six bedrooms, five and a half bathrooms and, let's be honest, schadenfreude enough to cover the grounds.

The blinged-out home's construction was featured prominently on the first season of the series, and was fitted to Teresa's exacting specifications. (Marble rooms? Check. Gold accents? Check. A sense of fiscal responsibility? Che—oh.)

But since the couple is roughly $11 million in debt, and make only $79,000 in annual taxable income, they're unloading the property for a cool $3,999,000. Here's what you'd get from the home—besides a laugh from the description claiming that "privacy and tranquility reigns":

• 3.77 acres of wooded property
• 16 rooms
• Two ponds, a stream and a man-made waterfall
• Six bedrooms
• Five and a half baths
• Master bedroom with full bath, steam shower, Jacuzzi, dressing room, fireplace and walk-in closet
• Three fireplaces
• Three-car garage
• Central air conditioning
• Laundry room
• Home office and den
• Game room
• Gourmet eat-in kitchen with breakfast bar, center island and separate formal dining and breakfast rooms (roomy enough for several rounds of the ham game)
• Wine room
• Separate live-in guest suite
• Exercise room
• Separate family and great rooms
• Maid quarters
• Marble, tile and wood floors throughout

Not to mention a garage fully equipped for all your yearlong marinara-supply-making needs. So go on, make them an offer they can't refuse. Which, at this point, could pretty much be anything.

(Originally published June 10, 2010, at 1:07 p.m. PT)

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It's hard to tell who's having a worse week...Teresa or her sex tape-releasing costar Danielle Staub.