Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept.You ever make a 10-year plan? Lindsay Lohan did.
Exactly five years ago today.
And looking back on it is a shocker.
It's not that her goals, circa the mid-2000s, were exceptionally unusual; it's that for all her mug shots and run-ins with the county morgue, Lohan has already made good on half of them.
"I want to get married before I'm 30," Lohan, then 20, told In Style in an issue that went on sale on Oct. 20, 2006. "And have my house. And make the kind of record I want. And I'd like to win an Oscar before then."
As of today, she's got the house, and she's got the record, too, assuming you count her 2008 collaboration with Ne-Yo, "Bossy," which added to the discography she began building when she was a teenager.
Lohan has an even more records if you include the string of arrests and court dates she began putting together in 2007, but it's doubtful that that's "the kind of record" she was talking about.
As for the spouse: The 25-year-old Lohan still hasn't had one, and she doesn't appear to be close to landing one. Her last serious relationship, with DJ Samantha Ronson, ended, more or less, in 2009.
Still, marriages come and go pretty fast in Hollywood, so that milestone isn't out of the question by July 2, 2016, Lohan's 30th birthday.
The Oscar is another story.
With only five years left to go to make her deadline, the once-promising actress, who hasn't appeared in any kind of remote contender since 2006's Bobby, may be running out of time.
"If her legal problems went away today, and her behavior was completely pristine, then even still it would be a number of years before she was quote-unquote 'back,' Oscar watcher and Hollywood Reporter awards-show blogger Scott Feinberg said.
Then again, noting how few would have predicted that Lohan would be more famous for her troubles than her movies, Feinberg said one never knows for sure: "I guess obviously a lot can happen in five years."
Indeed.