Lawsuit Claim: Douglas' Ball Cost Me a Testicle
A couple years back, it was Jack Nicholson going Arnold Palmer on a fellow motorist's windshield. Today, it's Michael Douglas being accused of costing a caddy a testicle because the actor didn't yell "Fore!"
Some background on that last one: This week in a Manhattan federal court, James Parker, 48, sued Douglas, 53, for between $85-115 million (depending on reports) for allegedly smacking the man in the private parts with an errant golf ball.
"He hasn't been able to work since this happened, and quite frankly he's got some real damages there," Parker's lawyer Christopher Thompson says in the New York Daily News.
Douglas' camp denies the Fatal Attraction star is the source of the caddy's troubles.
"The incident did happen, but not as this guy claims," the publicist Allen Burry tells the New York Post.
The apparently undisputed portion of the story is this: Last October 20, Douglas and three others teed off at the Elmwood Country Club in Westchester, New York. Parker caddied.
At the No. 4 hole, Parker claims, he walked ahead of the foursome. At some point, he turned around--reacting to the sound of a ball being hit. (No "Fore!" warning was issued, he claims.) Then--whack! A golf ball--off the swing of Douglas, or so the suit alleges--smacked Parker square in the genitals, rupturing a testicle.
Douglas reacted by turning racially offensive, says Parker, who is black. According to the complaint, the newly tapped UN Messenger of Peace stuffed $60 in the fallen caddy's pocket and muttered, "I can't believe that I hit the nigger in the balls."
"Absolutely absurd" is how Douglas terms the lawsuit and its claims, according to the actor's publicist.
The Wall Street wizard: (a) did not hit the ball that got Parker where it hurts; and, (b) did not slur Parker with the "N" word, the camp says.
"Michael was the one who got help for the guy. He can't believe this," Burry tells Reuters. "He said: 'This is just ridiculous.'"
Douglas' side says another member of the foursome--one Mark Drach--hit the offending ball. Parker's side says Drach is Douglas' bodyguard and has lied to protect his boss. Douglas' side says the Oscar winner does not have a bodyguard.
With any luck, this all will be sorted out before a sudden-death round is required.



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