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J.Lo's Private Biz Won't Go Public

Jennifer Lopez Alfonso Catalano/LaPresse/ZUMAPress.com

Bad news, folks. We're never gonna get to read about Jennifer Lopez's first sexual encounter with her husband number one, Ojani Noa—reportedly on the balcony of a Doubletree Hotel in Miami. (Um, the Doubletree?! You've come a long way, baby.)

Nor will we find out about Jenny's alleged "multiple duplicitous sexual affairs," because a tell-all tome Noa had planned to publish has been scuttled. Not only that, but he has been ordered to pay her nearly $545,000 in make-goods as part of their arbitration agreement.

Damn that justice system!

So, now we just have to make do with the snippets that have leaked out, like J.Lo's alleged tawdry affair with now husband Marc Anthony while he was still married to former Miss Universe Dayanara Torres. It's a small consolation, but we guess we can chew on that.

More details coming soon in our news section...

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